From my old bbwNicedom profile, as it last stood:
I'm terribly beautiful, with legs that are longer than my entire body, teeth that shine so bright they beckon aliens from a million light years away, and, flesh so soft you'd slide right through me.
As a small child, I saved the world, twice. I design all my own clothes, and, if you decide to choose me, I will never, ever ask you for anything, or, cost you a dime. In fact, I am a multimillionaire, and, I really want you to spend my money on strip clubs and beer!
Of course, that's why I am on a dating site, because, a woman of my caliber has so much trouble finding the right man.
Well, that last part is true, anyway.
I'm not rich, I'm not super model tall and I am definitely not super model thin. I cannot sew for beans, and, my teeth would come dangerously close to making it into The Big Book of British Smiles. So, why would you want to get to know me?
Because, you are the sort of man who is looking for someone real, who appreciates the finer things in life, yes - but, who does not believe "finer" means "most expensive"; who can engage you in intelligent conversation, but, also, have fun playing and being silly, together. You want a woman who absolutely loves sex,and, is very open to trying new things, but, who is never going to try them with your friends or, in fact, anyone who is not you. Because, you want someone who is weird, maybe a little too weird, but, not mean, not rude - just weird. And, you like old fashioned girls who can arm wrestle a bear into submission.
Err .. that last part might not be true, either.
A lot of reading and writing of fiction, reading the Bible, spending time with family, making friends, swimming, cooking, watching Netflix, going on walks , Tuesday night cheap movies. Why? You want to join in?
writing, proffering as much help as I can give, filing (papers, not nails), cooking - sometimes; research; loving people despite ... or, without really noticing or considering ... whatever ..
Apparently, for most men, online, the first thing they notice is that I am too far away, overweight, and/or that I have something about me that, due to their msinterpretation of why I am contacting them or what that something is (or both) makes me all wrong for them. It varies as to which is first, but, those are, usally, the first things.
Offline, I really don't know. Generally, I am either told I am hideous, or, I am told I am beautiful, so, apparently, people notice my looks, first; but, which parts of them, when, and, why, I am clueless about, most of the time.
Out of the movies I've seen most recently, The Switch and True Grit are my favorites. The new True Grit, that is; the old one has been one of my favorites, for a very long time now.
I don't like most horror movies, but, I do like Alien, Dog Soldiers, Silver Bullet, Ginger Snaps Back,and, probably a few others.
Musically, I like some of Pink, some of Pink Spiders, Bowie, Alice Cooper, The Beatles, and, oh, a lot else that is bouncy and rockish. Love many other things musical, as well, like Bella Bimiba, various arabic and israeli belly dance sort of songs, some old blues and jazz tunes .. whatever sounds good, really.
Food .. hmm .. well, as far as going out, so far, my favorite restaurants, in Tucson, have all been asian. There is the Hibachi Grill in the Tucson Mall, Yokohama Rice Bowl, and New China Buffet. Or, I am not sure I got that last name quite right, but, something like that. I like to cook, but, I need a better knife set and some new pans, etc.
Update: Recently, my sister and I went to the Babylon .. err .. something or other .. restaurant, for their lunch special, where I had a green curry with beef. It was exactly what I've been needing. I kept telling people I needed something spicy, but, good tasting, not just hot, and, not mostly flavored by cheese. This was wonderful! The main problem with it was that we finished and had to leave, and, now, no money to go back and try the red or yellow curry, or, any of their other specials
The best part of it was, between that restaurant, my desire for better health, interest in food as medicine, and, prayer, I have been inspired to look up grocery stores that have green curry paste, and, other delights, with which to augment my spice rack.
Currently reading ' Stranger at the Gate', which is far more interesting than some people have let on, and, not, after all, solely about communism. Yes, it is about that, too, but, not just.
I could go on forever about books, fiction and for learning. But, I shall not, yet. Gives us something to talk about.
Jehovah God
Jesus
Being of help / use
Writing
Good conversation
Understanding / Being understood
If there is someone out there for me, stories to write, sex and why I shouldn't be thinking about it, health issues, herbal healing, nutrition, and, things related to that.
Thinking about those things mentioned above. Sometimes, working.
... will be revealed, when you appear to be a person whom I wish to reveal many, many private things to, whether as a friend or more.
... you are generally friendly, open-minded, and, want to.
... you are someone who loves Jehovah, who is seeking someone to fall madly in love with and marry.
... you are a writer, who wants someone to bounce ideas off of, to have ideas bounced off you, help with editing, and, etc.
AND/OR, you are capable of telling me WHY you are writing to me, without going all "I'm sure you are the one for me!" straight off, because, sorry, but, I am a real person, who it takes time to get to know, and, you need to be one, too!
Obviously, this bears repeating, as the majority of people who have written to me, just do not get it. So, how do I say it where they will? Hmm ... :
I am not desperate to have a man, nor, am I interested in a man who is so desperate to stop being lonely that he is going to latch onto me, because, he is hoping I'll have low enough standards that I won't care about things like courtship, actual compatibility, mutual attraction, etc. I would rather be alone, than with the wrong person, so, do not come at me with "I can tell by your profile, that you are perfect for me. Let's get together, right away, and, here's my phone number." or anything even sillier than that. If you do, I'll probably just bock you and be done.
So, again: I am a real person, whom it takes time to get to know. You should be one, as well.
Though, being just generally friendly, while keeping your options open to be more later, is always acceptable.
You should NOT message me if you are going to try to rush me into a relationship, you are looking to cyber, you think premarital sex is a must to determine if you should marry someone, you actively dislike Jehovah's Winesses, you are a cross dresser seeking approval, you are seeking a purely sexual relationship, you are misogynistic, you want me to be misandristic; and,especially, you should not message me if it is to argue a point on my profile or in my journal entries.
Comment, politely, if you like, but, do not message me for an argument. I don't like arguing, and, I am not on this site for any reason, other than entertainment and life-enhancing enjoyment.
From my old Monkygirl profile, as it last stood:
First of all, be aware that someone has changed the answers to my questions, repeatedly (some, anyway), so, it is always best, when in doubt, to ask/discuss.
Religiously inclined (think Kingdom Hall), overweight, vastly imperfect being who writes both well and prolifically, at times.
Open to sincere friendship with mad beings, and mad love with a sincere being.
Yes, I do mean mad, as in not angry, but, quite, quite odd. I have a great love for weird people, but, not for mean or gross ones, which makes it hard to meet anyone, as usually they are all three or some combination of weird plus one of the other things, but, seldom weird, but, relatively polite and moral, fairly well kempt, and kind to strangers. (sigh).
I believe in God, marriage, family, monogamy, fluffy puppies full of warm milk, and all sorts of other things that are nice. I love to dance (badly) and sing (off key), spend time with friends, have deep and meaningful but silly conversations, go on road trips, and - while I believe that some things go better with Coke, but, most things go better with a light spanking (me, you, both, doesn't matter) - think swimming or otherwise being in the water is one of the great treats in life.
I do want romance, marriage, a comfortable home with possible puppies. All the good vanilla bits, you know? And, the option of including many fine and interesting bdsm bits, of the sort that we both like to do. The focus should be respect, love, knowing each other, sharing time together - life - and then style.
Looking for work, love, instructions on how to fix the dishwasher, maca root, and sympathy to go with some tea.
writing -always
watching moves - cheaply and on Tuesday
pining for a mad Scotsman, but, I'm over that, now,and am willing to let a man of whatever nationality pine for me, instead.
reading - always
writing, being weird, typing (compared to some), writing contracts, telling other people what to do - setting rules, laying down the law, and other fun stuff; cooking (so long as you have a love of garlic), listening (when it is not all drama), errr .. hopefully, other stuff!
Could be my wonky eye, stumpy leg, or giant Santa belly, but, sometimes, it is just my personality and /or pretty blue eyes (despite wonkiness)
Too many to type up, just now, thank you.
Just finished 'Remembered Death' by Agatha Christie (not for the first time), and am on to some Mary Stewart Crystal Caves Trilogy, or somesuch (not for the first time). Read the Bible every day (not for the first time).
Okay, I'm back! Movies: Dog Soldier .. soldiers? Well, whatever!, Alien, Swamp Thing, Stranger than Fiction, Mr.Jealousy, Strange Brew, Clifford, Three Amigos, Life of Brian, K-Pax, Everybody Wants to be Italian, Under the Tuscan Sun, The Expendables, Terminator, all things Rambo, the last Rocky movie, Predator, Aliens, Oblivion, anything that has Bruce Campbell in it for the sake of it having Bruce Campbell in it even if I hate the movie otherwise (Congo), all things Clint Eastwood (though I would gladly pay not to be traumatized by Mystic River again), and most things John Wayne, Valley Girls, Zardoz, West World, Fame (the good one), Tommy, Hair, The Sound of Music, Paint Your Wagon (definitely has Clint Eastwood in it), and .. you know it would be easier to tell you types of movies I do not watch: pornos, including extremely graphic horror or martial arts films, in general; anything made by Rob Zombie, at all, ever; really painful dramas. I used to, but, I've had enough reality, thank you
*ahem* Martial arts films: I have watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Dubbed and undubbed), some Bruce Lee, that horrible Enter the Fist spoof (which I sort of liked), many things with Jet Li in them, Kill Bill I and II, and, a few things by that mad director who one should always remember the name of - but, whose name I have just forgotten. So, it's not that I won't watch any, it's just that many are painfully noisy and in theaters filled with teenage boys who laugh and talk all through the movie.
Books: Georgette Heyer, Douglas Adams, Barbara Michaels, Morgan Llewellyn, Agatha Christie, Stephen King, Dean R. Koontz, Ngaio Marsh, The Grapes of Wrath, Crime and Punishment, Uncle Tom's Cabin (though not finished yet), Mark Twain, much by Oh Henry, the Riverworld series by Poul Anderson (also not finished yet) especially To Your Scattered Bodies Go, Harlan Ellison (only the established fiction), Isaac Asimov, the book called Makka Ho that was written by an Asian gentleman back in the early 1970's, some Sheila Bishop. Where the Wild Things Are, and many fine books on gardening, do it yourself projects, home decorating, and other interesting tid bits.
Music: Yes, please! Unless it is really gross or by Marilyn Manson, then, no, thank you!
God
2. Family
3. ..... would be love(romantic) but I have lived without it, so I guess I can. I don't want to, but, I can.
4. Garlic
5. Leather
6..... would be someone wonderful to kiss, but, I have lived without that, too, so ...
7. Slaves. I mean, I have lived without them, but, not well; so, let me have some, now, please? I promise it won't be ugly or about someone's ethnic background.
God, slaves and how nice my life would be with some, family, garlic, leather, someone wonderful to kiss, writing, my friends, SG-1, swimming, water in general: rain specific., my children, and whatever else pops into my head.
These are my goals for myself, and, I do spend a fair bit of time thinking about them, studying up on them, and, attempting to achieve them. This means that these are not necessarily things I am doing, yet, or have achieved, yet, but, they are what i am working toward. The people who I accept into my life are the people who will further my goals, not detract from them with negative input, thievery, lying, or, etc. If I find you to be less than a positive influence in my life, I will remove you from it.
Health:
Long Term:
To build up a health immune system
To build up energy levels, sustained
To rebuild muscle mass
To lose excessive girth
Please note the order.
Short term:
Obtain a flat of wheat grass
Find other ways to use Vitamin C powder
Start growing what veggies and herbs I can in my plant pots
Walking somwehere every day
Performing Makka Ho exercise every day
Career/Work
Long Term:
To be a published author
To sell enough artwork in various forms, to help pay bills
Short Term:
Retain employment I already have
Supplement wages with part time work that I can do
Romance/Slavery:
Long Term:
To be married to a man who understands me, whom I understand, in mutual love of each other and devotion to God.
To own slaves for the sake of mutual comfort and help, in mutual love of this sort, in a relationship that would not dishonor my relationship with my husband or God; for my benefit, including, that the slaves will be used for the benefit of others.
Short Term:
Getting to know people and making friends who have some of the same morals and desires to help others in common, some of the same likes and dislikes, and, not too much disparity in morality or emotional outlook.
Social:
Long Term:
The establishment of residences throughout various areas of the country that are rented as very low income, for people who are struggling but honestly trying to get by.
The opening of a free thrift store, wherein people make appointments to come by, look through, take what they need, one person or family at a time. Every item would be freely donated, all workers would be volunteers (slaves, if I had them), and there would be no need of vouchers.Short Term
Harder to have a short term goal, here, but, I do try to be kind and helpful. I did offer to buy a homeless guy food, as he said he was hungry, but, he turned me down.
How will I do these things? Well, some of them, such as supplementing my wages is a matter of continually trying. For other things, such as the flat of wheat grass, it is a matter of locating a place that sells it and getting together the funds. Which, that might be the Sunflower market - it used to be, but, I did not have the funds, at the time. And, some of them, such as building up my immune system, are dependent upon othes: such as obtaining the wheat grass, so that I can utilize its healing properties, or, supplementing my wages, which greatly relieves stress when you can pay your bills and may, also, result in my being able to afford other supplements that I need.
In the meantime, despite the lack of supplements (mostly a lack) much can be done by careful meal planning, reestablishing a schedule (it's been thrown out of wack, just lately), light exercise, attending meetings at the Kingdom Hall ( a very pleasant experience), meditation, prayer, and, oh yes, those good friends I want to make. Which, like the wages, is a matter of continually trying to find what works
Now, in the case of slaves, I have rather given up the purposeful search, because most of the people I meet have a focus that is not even remotely like mine. Their focus tends to be on the flesh, and, their belief seems to be that through the use and misuse of the flesh, one achieves what is needed for the mind and spirit. To me, this is the exact opposite of the truth. Well, not in all respects: if you train the flesh, it does help train the mind, to some extent. However, the focus is the exact opposite of what it should be. The flesh should not be leading the mind, but, the mind should be leading the flesh.
Think about it this way: If you had to leave one out of the equation and rely solely on the other one to make you feel owned, which would do the trick? For someone to manipulate your body, but, never engage your mind? Or, for someone to engage your mind, even though not touching your body?
Your mind is who you are. Your flesh is governed by your mind's experiences. This is why you can love the smell of a fragrance, but, then, learn to hate it, because someone who is nasty to you always wears it. Now, if your flesh ruled, the mind would say that the person is good, because you love the fragrance, but, instead, it says that the fragrance is bad, because it observes the actions of the person.
Enough philosophy, though. The point is that I do have goals that I am working toward, I do have reasons for wanting what I want, and, I do have some idea of what to do, how to do it, and, in roughly what order, to achieve what needs to be achieved. This is not about me being some chick who decided she wants men to buy her things and/or suffer from unrequited lust. If that's what you want, be on your way to find it. If you want something different out of your life, if you see the possibility of achieving your own goals with me, then, welcome.
..once again, wishing for someone to swim with, and avoiding doing my own laundry. Nice thing about working from home is that one uses very little clothing!
I think I admitted enough!
.. you are a writer, who writes something other than puerile nonsense or technical materials.
... you know where this comes from: "You are all individuals. You are all different." ... "I'm not." .. and, you think it's very, very funny.
.... you are British, tall, terribly sexy, awfully weird, and want to get married. Or, minus the British. Or, minus the tall. Or, minus both. Get it?
... you have read my oh so subtle allusions to voluntary, legal slavery, so called, and are quite keen to fetch me a cup of tea, at least.
... you are not a man who wants things inserted into your rectum. you are a man who wants things inserted into your rectum
...you are a man who would like to clean the house, pay the bills, and, then spend a wonderful day in bed, being my favorite sex toy/ battering ram,
.. or, if you would like me to clean the house, instead.
Oct 2, 2010
I'm looking for different music than I usually listen to (old rock mostly) that is not too techno, too rap, too much of a cacophony, or too cussy. Mostly, the not too cussy is the important bit.
Into all sorts of music, from all over the world; but, not into negativity and not keen on music with a lot of curse words, because I am trying - as always- to learn how not to cuss.
The day before the concert, me and my sister went out to find something to wear, do with our hair, etc. She had offered to buy me stuff to dress up in, but, as it turns out, that mostly did not happen. She did buy some hair product and a couple of other really cheap things, that she let me use and I gave her $10 of my money to buy two shirts from Ross' Dress for Less that cost around $15 altogether. But, she did take me out to lunch (to a place neither of us wants to go again) and I did end up with both shirts, so ..
We were going to, maybe, dress me up with a leopard painted face, and all, but, instead I just opted for looking like a crazy, bar fly, slut sort of person. Which, apparently, worked; as my nephews girlfriend told me that I look hot and should dress that way more often. Leopard print top with cut outs on the shoulder, black leggings, strange black semi-orthopedic looking black patent wedge sandals, lots and lots of mascara and a tangerine blush and brown eyeshadow for contour, brown lipstick, black eyeliner, and some severally messy, sexy hair that I mixed a little copper paint in to make it look even redder.
The opening act was The Murder Dolls. No one I went with, including me, were interested in them, because we did not know who they were, and when I looked up some of their songs, they had names like "Thanks, Satan." and "Kill My Bride" When we got there, they were already playing, even though it was not time for the concert to start yet, and they sounded really loud and horrible from the parking lot.
Once we saw them on stage, though, things got much better. In fact, we all agreed that it is the best opening act we've ever seen. They were cussy, and weirdly dressed (of course),but, highly entertaining. The lead singer, whoever he is, was really cool looking and had great stage presence. For this one song, he was playing with a black umbrella that had the F word prominently displayed in white on it. I even recognized a song or two as being one's I had seen during my search.
No, I would not recommend them to anyone, but, like a few other bands, even if I don't agree with all their sentiments, I can admire their talent.
Rob Zombie, who I had also never seen in concert or seen or heard much of otherwise, was absolutely phenomenal. When he came on, he said something about how he had completely lost his voice the day before, but, he didn't say anything all day, in hopes of it magically coming back - then, assured us that it hadn't, really, but, he'd do his best. After the end of his set, a significant portion of the audience left, but, people kept yelling and whistling until he came back on and did another song. They kept it up, so he came back on and did another song. I can't remember now if he did three or four extra songs, total; but, after a while the guitarist was obviously begging him to stop and they had shut down all the fancy lights and all. So, R.Zombie asked if we wanted to make it like one of those four hour Bruce Springsteen concerts, and then told us this was the last one for real, and did one more.
He is really great to watch, jumping around on the stage, like some insane, pinwheeling jack rabbit or something. Very cool!
In between, of course, was Alice. The lady who was next to me, not my sister but the other one who was just some stranger, asked me who us ladies were there to see, Zombie or Cooper. I told her Cooper and she sort of squealed "I know!"
She was some biker looking chick, with a fake snake threaded through her belt loops and a leather vest on.
When they played just a wee bit of 'Feed My Frankenstein' at one point, she started squealing and jumping up and down, and when they finally played it for real, she grabbed my arm, hopping up and down, yelling "Feed my Frankenstein! Can you believe it?" or something like that. So, yeah, she was definitely part of the nights entertainment.
Alice.. what can be said about Alice, except that he is Alice Cooper? Oh yeah, and that, FINALLY, he has been nominated, good and proper, for the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame.
He also came back for a brief encore after his set, which is good, as he hadn't bothered to properly lean yet, and, maybe men do not understand this (straight men), but, Alice Cooper doing his draping lean against a microphone or a crutch is some of the best sex a woman can have. Just gorgeous! Totally ridiculous how sexy he is when he does that.
So, now, here I am, after a shower, with my ears slightly stuffed up due to drifting pot smoke and the chemical smoke they pump out on stage, tired, my hair still feeling extra fluffy from left over Got 2 b glued hair cement and freeze spray, sore knees, tender feet, trying to convince myself to get dressed and ready to go to a Sunday meeting.
Just read an interesting profile, did I, wherein a man claimed to be submissive but wanting to be a slave. He, then, qualified this with not wishing to be a 24/7 slave, not wishing to eat shit, and, oh, a few other things. In other words, the man is a fetishist, who wishes to be a submissive. Slaves are 24/7, whether they serve the entire time or no. A submissive can serve part time, a fetishist serves their own kink/need. Slaves certainly may ask for contracts that give them certain privileges or guarantees, and, their owner is honor bound to follow that contract. However, if they do not find an owner with honor, their contract will do them no good. You see, the point of being a slave is that you live as your owner will have you live. Contrary to popular belief, slaves have the right to say no. "No," he may say "I will not eat that shit." He is then bound to be beaten or whipped, as the rebellious baggage he is. However, no one can force him to do it. They can punish him for failure, they can throw him out for failure, but, he can say no, so long as he is willing to accept the punishment. Submissives can say their safeword, they can be all the way upset over their limits being disrespected, and, they can walk out. But, they are not slaves. Slaves are kept, punished, sold, traded, lent out, rented out, and, used as the property that they are. No one who is truly a Master (Mistresses of the type who own slaves included) will consider owning a slave who has decided to leave their Master or Mistress, because, they were unhappy, because, they didn't want to do something and they were forced to do it or punished for refusal; except if it is in the contract and it can be proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were absolutely treated in a manner that was against the contract. But, outside of serious, permanent damage, most punishment, even if it is for refusal to do something that you were told you would not have to do, is not against the contract. Which tells you what? Be careful of whom you choose to own you, pay attention to the contract, and, really consider what you want to be, because, no dearhearts, most of you do not really want to be slaves. Of course, as we all know, that is also a matter of honor, with the slave, because, they are full citizens of their country, with full legal rights. So, it behooves us all to act honorably and to seek those who show honor in their dealings with others. |
Becoming:
A butterfly is not born, it is created. It starts out as the caterpillar, The caterpillar is born. Does it know what it will become? Who is to say? But, as it progresses through life, it finds this need inside itself, to transform and become something. As it is cocooned, by its own acts, hidden from the world, is it aware of all it will be? I cannot tell you. But, here is what I know. The butterfly is still the caterpillar it was. It had to be the one, to become the other.
You are not a slave. It doesn't matter what you have been, or, what you hope to be. You are not a slave, because, you are not owned, trained and accepted as a slave of that owner.
I am not a master, an owner of slaves. It doesn't matter what I have been, or what I hope to be. I am not an owner of slaves, because, I do not currently own a slave, that has been trained and accepted by me.
Now, there you are, the caterpillar, and, here I am, the cocoon you must don.
There you are, the cocoon, and, here I am the caterpillar that will spin you into existence.
That is total power exchange.
Neither of us are, but, together, we can transform ourself, into owner and slave.
Take my hand, trust that transformation can and will occur, in our own minds and bodies, and, in our relationship, and we will become butterflies, together.
I prefer slaves who are not pain sluts, as it makes punishment so much easier. It's, then, as simple as carrying a little notebook, marking out each week, placing a mark for each infraction or failure, and, administering the strokes of the whip, paddle, or crop, at the end of each day.
Slaves who are into pain, you have to be more creative about their punishments, or you might accidentally reward them for bad behavior. I'm all for creativity, mind you; it's the HAVE to that I don't like about it.
O.K., let's cut out the bullshite!
For all intents and purposes, when you write to me and express an interest, you are a slave on an auction block, and, I am the Mistress who is looking you over to decide if I shall accept you. Believe this, act accordingly.
It doesn't matter that you are the one who chose to step up there, instead of being forced. You want to be slave, so act like one. Present yourself for inspection, without the judgment of a free person, submit yourself to questions and physical tests. I may accept you.
You have no right to accept or deny me, once you step up on the block, so, don't ask to be considered by me, if your answer is not already yes.
As my ID intimates, I want to use you, now. Let's break that down, shall we
I :me, dominant female, home owner, imperfect human being, with years of experience on both sides of the whip
want: desire, need
use: utilize, make use of
you: the person who wants to be used
now: as in not three months from now, but, actually, soon.
I am not here to cater to your fetishes, or, to answer your questions about mine. They are none of your business. Here is what is your business: I have a list of hard limits. Those will be accepted by you. I have a lifestyle which fits those hard limits, and, you will respect it. Enslavement will begin quickly with protocols, but, slowly, otherwise, because i am just starting out again and do not have the equipment I used to have.
How will you be used? In any way I see as is fit, that fits within my lifestyle. How many slaves will I own? As many as I feel like owning. What else do you need to know? There will be no major damage, of any sort. Most likely, there will be cage play and whips. I want to have fun. You are my play toy, as well as worker.
If you come to me, with talk of your fetishes, or, with demands to know mine, you will be blocked. How my house is run, is none of your business. What I look like is none of your business. What is your business is that you desire to serve above all else, and, you are capable of doing so. I can prove I am real, you will prove you are real, and, that is all that matters.
The painting I am using as my primary profile photo is not of me, but, it is my own painting, called 'Travails of a Princess'. Currently, iti s not for sale.
I am a BBW with a dominant nature, who believes in Jehovah God, romance, family, fun, and, silliness. What I seek is a love, someone to make my husband. What counts the most is that our personalities click, we can respect each other. In other words, I am not looking for a man to abuse. Just one who understands that there is this inner strength, this ability/need to lead, and, who is strong enough to follow, as needed.
Sexually, I can be submissive, dominant, or something in-between, and, yes, I do like a little bondage, spankings, hair pulling,cage time, etc. on occasion, but, I believe most of what is good that comes from sex stems from what can be done without props, what naturally exists between two people in love.
Love is what I seek - a man who is compatible with my needs, wants, and desires. The relationship will have all the best of the vanilla elements. The right man is the only one I will be fully intimate with, as I will not cheapen myself by acting the whore, slut, or, otherwise. And, once we are together, we will be married,and, he will be the only man allowed to call me his Mistress, wife, or anything else of a similar nature.
Currently, I am living in a situation where I have my own room and mostly my own bathroom, in a small house (ostensibly mine) that I share with three other people. This is due to economics. I am looking for more employment, but, for now, I need roommates, and, in this case, they are, also, family, who need roommates, as well.
What else do you need to know? When I say BBW, that is as in maybe a size 3 X, right now. Maybe I'll be smaller some day, say a size 12, and, maybe I never will be. I have four children, they are grown, and, two of them are my roommates. I am a copy editor by profession, an artist of varying sorts (including, especially, writer), I like going on walks, movies, music, reading the Bible .. and, I am looking for a balanced life, that includes all that, and, love, and passion, and, hopefully, some lovely kinky sex. In that respect, I am open to varying degrees of submissiveness, or even dominance, in men, as I am looking for the total package, not just a fulfillment of fetishistic desires.
