AksaAbsalom (otherwise known as me)

Journal Entries for AksaAbsalon: 8/29/2011 1:43:54 PM [Report Entry] I've decided on a course of action. I am going to, first off, attempt to gather the salient bits of writing, from the few profiles that used to be mine, and, then, ask Support, again, to properly delete them. And, I will delete this account, at that point, and, will not return until such a time as I have reason to believe they have actually deleted them, as I am so tired of the crap I receive from what is, essentially, someone else's fault. But, you see, the last time I asked this of them, they kept deleting the account I was currently using, not the old ones, so, that is why I shall gather up the writing from this account, first, and, then, delete this account along with the rest.

8/29/2011 1:32:10 PM [Report Entry] Personally, I think there is a woeful lack of imagination among the inhabitants of this site. 'Oh no, no actual penetration. No touching my cock. No drinking your pee. Then there is nothing fun to do!' Really? What about inviting someone over for dinner, putting them in a standing cage, feeding them through the bars and only allowing them out at the end of the date? It's a little kinky, a lot romantic, potentially. What about kneeling down, and being used as a foot rest, while the person whose using you pleasures themselves, so that you can hear their moans and feel the shift of their weight as they ..?  Hmm hmm .. No, I would not call that a very Christian thing to do, but, it is hardly boring. What about being bent over a table and smacked with a rod, by a sensual voiced lovely, full of sadistic whimsy? There is so much more to do, with the mind and body, through pain, pleasure, exhaustion, sensory deprivation, bondage, hypnosis, than mere penetration of some holes, or, drinking of urine. Please! I'd love to play with you, too. Especially if you were my special one, but, I cannot agree to the things I am against, and, so far, I have yet to find anyone with enough imagination to see the beauty of the alternatives.

8/29/2011 9:57:50 AM [Report Entry] Oh, no, wait! There is that other completely scam artist activity I engaged in, wherein I told people upfront that I wanted slaves who were actually slaves, as in workers, not just mislabeled sex toys.  Imagine, me asking people to represent themselves as what they really are, to only claim to do and be what they are, and, to stay away from me if they are not actually interested in the lifestyle I wish to engage in! How shocking! How completely unlike BDSM should be.  NOT!   Then, there was the way I told people that I did, in fact, have profiles on here before, and, point out which ones had yet to be cleared up by the support staff.  Oh, and, the horrible habit I have of showing people the site where my art and writing is, and, sharing with them that I'm on Facebook and offering them the chance to come to know the more familial-related aspects of me, too, before deciding if they wish to serve.  Sure signs of a scam artist are when they start proffering proof of being real people,  who have friends and family, especially when they are not even remotely worried about you showing up on the same sites as them. Probably means they are also scamming their family and friends by being upfront about their desire to own slaves, too. How disgusting.   NOT!    Then, of course, there is the way I keep telling people I am too frigging poor to immediately jump into the bdsm play aspects of a relationship, unless they have equipment or they are interested in doing things which do not require it, and, that what I really need, first and foremost, is the supplements, a very specific kind of shoe, and, some hard and non-judgmental labor out of them. You know what that means?    That means I am the filthy sort of person who will actually tell a potential slave what I need out of them, both in the short term and in the long run, then, I will test them out, put them through their paces, and, see if they will suit me.  Imagine that, in the world of BDSM. Why, that would never fly! And, it certainly would never happen in the real world, because, no one ever works as a volunteer, apprentice or unpaid intern to learn a job that offers what they want out of life, in the real world.    Nope!    No one ever puts in any effort to help others or to benefit themselves further in the long run, without making demands that their potential boss or client do 15 different things they don't want to do, can't do, or, have made i clear that they will never do. Not in the real world!   NOT!   If you found the few not the many, profiles which used to be mine, what you would find is that my photo is up on all but one, which, instead, has a photo that is also on the art site, because it is a photo that I took, and, two that have original paintings by me. All of them mention former profiles, except the first one, and, the trouble I've had as a result of them not having been deleted, and, all of them speak of the fact that I am a poor writer and artist, who needs a real slave.   So, there you have it. Someone who shows who they are in the world of BDSM as well as vanilla life, who is unafraid to display her face here - the same face she displays on other non-bdsm sites- and who has a consistent back story. Proof positive she is a scam artist!   NOT!

8/29/2011 9:28:34 AM [Report Entry] Good morning! I'm still irked by the jerk, but, now it is more generalized. As in, it is funny how anyone who doesn't want to pay for work you do, or, who doesn't get precisely what they want out of you, thinks that means you're the scam artist.  The fact is, he was trying to scam me, by pretending to be a submissive, into having sex with him; then, he was trying to trade money for sex; and, he got terribly, terribly offended, when I suggested a very legitimate trade, that would be mutually beneficial for us both.  That being my using my vast knowledge of health related issues and leadership skills, and, he contributing what little was needed financially, to become workout partners and lose weight together.  Because, i know what I need to do, but, I cannot afford it, whereas, he obviously, having the money and still being a fat little butterball (with no excuse of health issues to explain it away), obviously either doesn't know what to do or is unable to motivate himself. Does that sound like a scam to you? Really? Well, would it sound like a scam if you went to a gym and someone said 'For $25 more per week, you can workout with Trini, to help motivate yourself and have a spotter for safety. Trini doesn't have any degrees, but, she is very knowledgeable on health foods, nutrition, supplements, exercises and how to choose the best ones for your body type and needs, due to self research, so she could also be a great resource for you, if you have questions.' ? No, it would not.  It's not just him, though. So many people act like my being an artist is a scam, as if writing, beading, painting, all that sort of thing, doesn't require vast amounts of work and, in many cases, serious expense for materials.  So, I say that I will trade a digital painting, original, which they can print out in any size, for some specific help. The help is worth far less than an original painting, too, I assure you, because, the painting, if I could afford to print it out, would be $600 easily.  Yet, because, I don't want to pay to have it printed out, because it is digital, they think it is worthless. Oh, but, I just put 6 hours of work into it, they like it, and, it is completely original, not just some quick manipulation. 'Nope, they say, you have to print it off.' or 'Nope, you have to paint it by hand.' Well, that all requires COST, and, if I could afford to print it off, or, the paints, I'd just go sell the painting for more, bypassing them, and, benefiting myself more, and, them not at all.  Does that make me a scam artist? Really? To ask for $50 worth of supplements, plus the $30 cost of a print out (not to be put in my hands) for a $600 digital painting? I'm the scam artist?  Then, why are they not happy with the $520 valued profit, and, why are they still trying to gouge me for more money? Why does the amount of work put into it count as nothing?  If I was getting paid strictly for the cost of materials and time, at the rate that a plumber gets paid, which is how artists used to be paid rather than as someone who created something more than any other laborer, I'd still be getting at least $600 on most paintings, and, sometimes more like $2,000.00, because, it can take a LOT of hours, and, paints, canvas, wear and tear on brushes, etc. are EXPENSIVE.  Yet, I find a way to make it cost less for me to create something original for you, then, offer the work and guarantee that the painting will never be duplicated by me, for sale, and, you cal lit as scam? You call it ME scamming YOU? Screw you people!

8/29/2011 2:44:18 AM [Report Entry] Well, I found out who the guy is that is lying about how many profiles i have, who made his own separate profile (meaning he has at least two active ones, right now) just to harass and lie about how many I allegedly have. He is a guy who has been stalking me, to the point of hacking my computer, some how, learning my home address. I've been turning him down, for over a year, now, because, he tells me he wants to serve, but, in fact, he is only interested in a sexual relationship. He is not submissive in the slightest.  Had a friend who is a domme join, who, on paper, sounds a great deal like me (fairly near the same age, height, weight) and she posted a photo that did not show her face or any distinguishing marks, as a witness to what I've been going through with this guy.  He immediately thought she was me, started making her offers of money for sex, accusing her of being a whore, and, demanding that he be allowed to serve her. Then, I sent him messages, through her, telling him what I thought of him, and, for him to stay away from me and my home.  Suddenly, tadah, here is a 'dominant' man, from some mysterious part of Arizona, making complaints about me. Someone I had never talked to, before, on that profile, anyway. I've learned, from other sources, that this is because he is the same guy who has been harassing me this whole time. Well, he should keep in mind that I have his photo and phone number, because he sent them to me, and, I have rather a great deal of information as regards his work. Enough to be able to find exactly where he works, and, report him, or, have him arrested; so, it would behoove him to just back off and leave me alone.

8/28/2011 11:10:01 PM [Report Entry] For your information: there are, strangely, 42 members on this site, who are listed as being females, who are 42 years of age and in Arizona. They are, in no particular order: 5'2' and submissive, living in Mesa A female dominant, 5'7' who is willing to relocate (recently) A female slave in Mesa, photo included, much smaller than me. submissive and living in Phoenix an 105 lb submissive another sub living in Mesa, 5'5' A 5'9' submissive in Phoenix A female submissive in Scottsdale a female switch in Phoenix, photo of her with wolves. Definitely not me. a 5'4' sub living in Phoenix a 5'3' sub living in Kingman a dominant who lives 3 miles from me a woman who is curious about veganism (blech) an 140 lb sub a 5'6', 260 lb dominant in Tucson, who lives 3 miles away from me a 5'7', 270 lb dominant in Tucson, who lives 11 miles away from me a 275 lb 5'6' dominant who lives 7 miles away from me a profile I made in June of 2010, which I left in June of 2010, asking for it to be closed. A 5'8' sub in Peoria a profile that I started and ended in May, 2011 a 5'5' sub in Tucson a female dominant living in Phoenix a female dominant in Tempe A female submissive in Tucson, who, admittedly sounds the right height, but, is not claiming to be BBW A female submissive living in Phoenix, with photo up, obviously not of me a woman claiming to have giant breasts (which I do not have) A 5'4' submissive in Scottsdale A female dominant in Tempe a profile that I started and stopped in June, 2011 A female submissive in Tucson, photo up, not me A female submissive in Peoria who is 170 lbs. A female dominant, 5'4', in Cottonwood A female submissive in Tempe a profile that I started and stopped in February, 2011 a profile I ended in October of 2010 And, this one. Plus, 6 profiles that were repeated on the second page, for some reason That's 6 profiles I've had, including this one. 1 active profile and 5 'deleted' profiles, in the last 2 years. It's not, as someone recently posted on their profile, 19 different profiles, that are active, as it was not 19 profiles and this is the only active one!  Just because some women have the same age, or, height, or weight, or interests, does not mean that they are all one spammer, pretending to be several different people. It could just mean, as it does, that they are really different people with some marginal similarities, on paper. So, if you have any wild urge to write any more crap about my allegedly having 19 different profiles, I do hope you will, kindly, consider pulling your head out of your own butt and doing a little fact checking, before wasting my time with your weirdly nosy b.s.  I mean, seriously, it is not as if I was even writing to you, making you any offers, bad mouthing you, or in any other way trying to talk you into anything or insinuating myself into your life, Mr. allegedly dominant, so , why oh why would you even care? Jerk!  And, why wouldn't you notice that I spend my time REJECTING people, not pursuing them. Spammers pursue. I'm very picky about who enters into my life. Maybe you're just upset because I have things on my hard limits that you like to do and you can't stand the rejection, even from women you weren't talking to. lol

8/28/2011 8:47:38 PM [Report Entry] This is my former profile. It is still valid, in that I feel this way, but, it will be my new profile reflecting what I am currently most interested in.  My ID is derived by combining the words Aksa,from the Sanskrit, meaning “soul” and Absalon from the Hebrew, meaning “my father is peace”, which accurately reflects some important principles, attitudes, and realities in my life.  I am a soul, my father is Jehovah God. I do not seek to rebel against him or to do anything in private that I would not do in public. There is no privacy from God.  I live by Christian standards. I fail, often, but, I keep trying. It is a lifestyle of inner strength, inner and outer discipline, and, helping others.  Those who are invited to enter into my life are those who accept me for what I am, and, who, if they seek improvements, seek them following the standards by which I have chosen to live. Still, in the past, I have said this, and, it has not encouraged the right sort of people to approach me, and, I have come to realize it is because, I said 'Christian', but, I did not accurately explain my meaning.  There are so many different persons claiming to be Christian, who live varying lifestyles, and, many persons on this site claim to be Christian, while doing much that is against Bible principles, so it is no wonder that those who have approached me think I am more concerned with outward appearance in the 'vanilla' community, than concerned with the deeper things of God.  This profile and its journal entries are here, primarily, to explain how BDSM fits into my life, how it relates to my religious beliefs, and, how I seek to live. If you like what you read, if you want to live in this way, I am open to us emailing each other, possibly progressing to chat, phone, and, face to face meeting, and, eventually living together in some fashion. How quickly this happens depends, in great part, in what your motivation is in contacting me, or, mine in contacting you. Obviously, you serving as a slave would not require as much 'getting to know you' time as if you wanted to be a husband. Be aware that if you write to me in a negative fashion, if you have obscene photos on your profile, if you cuss at me, or, you begin by making demands, or you are obviously seeking something I do not want in my life, I may immediately block you or hide your profile. Do not take it as an insult. Take it as discernment. Everything I do, here, and, everything I say (write? type?) is for the sake of you coming to know me, better. Read my entries, read my forum posts. I will be reading yours! And, by what you do or do not read, I shall know of your sincerity. If you are looking for more than tricking a woman into cybering with you, or, meeting you for free sex, you will put in the time and effort to do things right.

8/28/2011 9:08:47 AM [Report Entry] This is the sort of dominant I do not respect: 'You're a pig. You need to lose weight, you fat whore. Forget getting f... by me, until you look better. Hahhaah a Why would I waste my c .. on you?' 'Sorry. We seem to have a lot in common, but, your weight is gross. I can't deal with that.' 'All you need to do is diet and exercise and obviously you don't but you just stuff your fat face like a pig. No one finds you attractive.'   You know why? Because, absolutely everything said is filled with negativity,assumption, and/or weakness. How can I respect someone who has no self control, who doesn't understand that if they do not want to be a part of someone's life they have no business commenting negatively to them on it, who doesn't understand that if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem, who admits to an interest and then admits to an inability to affect change, who feels that insulting others is less of an offense than eating, and, who makes gross assumptions instead of asking for knowledge?   This is the sort of dominant I do respect: 'I see you are overweight. Is that by choice?' 'I really like your personality, but, I can't get together with someone so overweight. I would be glad to mentor you, though, and, maybe if you get in better shape, we could see about something more romantic.' 'I have a home gym and $200 to put toward those special shoes you mentioned. Would that help? I'll come pick you up three days a week, and, then you cook me dinner, after your workout. Something healthy, of course.' 'You seem to have a weight problem. Is that something you'd like some help with?' 'Why are you overweight and is there anything we could do to fix that? What is it?' 'You mention having Fibromyalgia, as well as allergies and that it affects your thyroid and also mention supplements. Tell me more, and, if it sounds like something I can do, I'll help you; but, only if you want to make an honest attempt and agree to do everything you can to change.' You know why? Because, all that is about someone who is asking for information, considering options, learning about the other person, expressing concern, and/or offering help. That's what truly dominant people do. They see the problem,  consider the likelihood of there being a solution, seek information on that solution, and, offer up help they can give as regards reaching a solution. Of course, they tend to want to be in control, but, since they listen, think, and care about others, it's not a bad thing.

8/27/2011 11:21:33 PM [Report Entry] If you are asking to be a long distance slave, whether the long distance is temporary or permanently, you will be required to prove your address and actuality, by the very simple method of: Sending me a self addressed, stamped envelope. I will then enclose a message to you, with instructions, and, send it to you. You will follow those instructions, proving that you exist, you can follow orders, and, you are willing to serve me. Please note that this will also prove that I exist and am telling the truth about my location, for your benefit.

8/27/2011 9:02:42 PM [Report Entry] I am interested in owning slaves. LOCAL ONLY. No druggies, no pets, no loves, no friends, no toilets, cross dressers, ashtrays, puppies or horses need apply. If you move in, you will be used as a total slave. I must see your face, before I can decide if we should meet, so send me a decent photo, close up of your face, no sunglasses or extreme shadows. No excuses! If you don't have one, then, go and get one before contacting me and don't tell me how it has to be sent by email because you are afraid of what your boss thinks.  Your boss isn't going to know, much less care, if I have your photo and if they did, well, they'd care just as much if you sent it via yahoo. You aren't James Bond, your face is not classified information, and, I will not consider you without having seen it. The slave I seek is one who will wish to live by strict rules and protocols, with strict, but simple punishment for offenses. They will not expect extreme abuse or degradation, but, they will expect to be worked hard, shared, and totally under my control. They will work for wages and they will hand their pay over to me, in cash, as they receive it, minus what they need for legitimate work related expenses, to go toward paying the bills, food, entertainment, and bdsm related equipment. Or, at the very least, they will pay half the bills, groceries, and, incidental entertainments. Work will include grooming, basic house cleaning, home repair, maid service for others, taking classes for what they do not know but need to. Play may include anything that is not listed, by me, as a hard limit, and, nothing that is.Do not write and ask what I am into or for any guarantees of what I will do to you.  I have an extra bed for you to sleep on, but, you may sleep on the floor if you are that sort of slave. You will eat the food I eat, mostly; and, as far as I'm concerned, you may as well eat off the same dishes. If you must, you may use a pet dish, but, I'm perfectly capable of maintaining control without such parlor tricks. Keep in mind, if you contact me, telling me that you want to serve me, I will be taking it seriously. So, if you are not local, you must be ready and willing to become local. If you do not show a sincere interest in this position, and, if you do not follow my orders from the time you contact me, including sharing a photo of your face with me, I will block you, immediately and report you as a spammer.

8/27/2011 4:36:54 PM [Report Entry] Slavery, BDSM, Christianity: BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. Bondage, contrary to popular belief, is not spoken of in the sexual context, though it is also not excluded from the description.  It is not wrong for people to engage in sex that involves being physically bound, any more than any other kind of sex. With sex, it is always why and who with, that you are doing it, which counts, in a Christian context, in determining if it is right or wrong.  Many people wrongly view the word bondage as being only about the sex, though, and, in fact, view the other words to also describe different aspects of sexuality, only, so view it as wrong for Christians to announce they are into, much less actively engaging in, weird sex games. However, BDSM is not about sex, necessarily, and, weird sex games are not wrong for Christians to engage in, if they fit in with Christian standards.  IE: It is wrong for a Christian to engage in sex with someone they are not married to, and, Jesus set a standard that thinking about it, excessively (on purpose) is as much of a sin as performing the act is.  Therefore, those things that are euphemistically referred to as oral worship, body worship, or any things which are related to the purposeful inciting of lust are wrong to do with someone you are not married to, especially if you have no intention of becoming married to the person you are with. But, if you are married to the person, and, that person wishes to engage in oral sex, being whipped, tied up, etc., and, you want to engage in it, and, you are both doing it together, as part of being close and sharing your life together, there is nothing wrong with it, at all. Bondage, in fact, refers to anything that involves being bound, physically, being under compulsion; slavery, servitude, or subjugation; controlling or being controlled by an outside person or force. Dominance refers to the supremacy or preeminence over another; exercise of mastery or preponderant influence.  Sadism refers to receiving pleasure in teaching humility, or, in dominating others. Though it is named after someone who was very morally exempt, one does not have to be exempt from morality to engage in it.Masochism refers to receiving pleasure from pain, humility, or, domination.  All of these things can be engaged in, in a way that is mild, teasing, all the way to completely monstrous and damaging. In other words, like as was said about sex, it depends on why you are doing it.  There is nothing inherently evil about serving someone, being served by someone, teaching humility, or learning humility. In fact, serving, accepting help from others, asking for what you need, learning to think of others, learning not to think too highly of yourself, and, helping others to learn these things, are all things that Christians are exhorted to do.  Obviously, they are told to do these things, within certain parameters, under certain guidelines, in a way that is not damaging to themselves or others, and, which do not conflict with the laws of either man nor God. Now, some say that BDSM degrades and defiles the temple (our bodies), perverts the spirit in leading us to worship flesh instead of God, and, corrupts the plans God has set for how sex should be used. However, again, it depends on who you are doing it  with, and, why.  There is plenty of bad that can be encompassed within BDSM, but, there is also much good which can be encompassed within it. I choose to seek out and engage in the good, which will not offend God. More will be said on this subject, later.

8/27/2011 3:12:54 PM [Report Entry] If you want to apply to be my slave, keep in mind that you are the one who is being tried out, tested, and, judged? For the first wee while, you will be ordered to clean, buy things, kneel, stand, restricted in speech, put on call, or, whatever else I feel like putting you through, and, if I see that you have something to offer me, I will consider keeping you, and, using you in these ways and more.  I am not here to fulfill your fetishes, to serve your desires. You are here to work for me. What is in it for you? Well, if you want to serve, and, you are given an order to fulfill, it fills you with a feeling of purpose,  it makes you feel needed and special, and, that is what is in it for you. You will be bound up by rules, and, you want it that way. You will be used, needed, cherished as my property, and, that is what you need in your life. You will be trained how to please, and, allowed to share in my life.  If you cannot see that as a good thing, if you see it as selfishness on my part, then, you are not a slave.

8/27/2011 2:44:03 PM [Report Entry] More about the lifestyle I would like to live, starting now, with a slave: I happen to enjoy a very well-organized, clean home, and, a well scheduled life. Mind you, I do enjoy spontaneity, but, I like a nice, well organized, well scheduled, base from which to leap.  A slave would be responsible for carrying out my orders, toward this end. IE: I would order the slave to create menu plans, based on certain guidelines, for my health, and, taking into consideration what was currently on sale (or, currently ripe in the garden), and, the slave would do this, and, then, follow that menu so as to promote better health, while keeping an eye toward minimizing cost and spoilage. I would tell the slave an area for cleaning supplies and equipment needs to be set up. The slave would, then, consider the lay out of the house, the amount and size of supplies and equipment, and, come to me with an idea of where to set up such an area, and, how best to do so. Once it was approved by me, the slave would then go and purchase the necessaries, set up the area, and stock it with the supplies and equipment.  I would tell the slave which supplements I needed to take, in what quantity, for what duration and on what schedule. The slave would keep track of them, order more when necessary, and, bring them to me at the appropriate time of day. I would set a basic cleaning and maintenance schedule for the home, and, the slave would keep track of the details, as well as performing the chores. However, I do not need a slave who does all the work, who looks down on owners who enjoy cooking and cleaning, as I enjoy cooking and cleaning. Nor do I need a slave who wants to eat slop, as, i do not enjoy cooking slop, and, part of the job of a slave is to be companionable. It means nothing if I cook and there is no one to feed; and, it means nothing if they say it's good, but, they are only saying it because 'the Mistress is always right'. I want slaves who are honest, hard working, loyal, giving, and, who want to serve, and, who want to serve me. There would be rather strict protocols, not because I believe they are unworthy to be considered just as human as me, but, for the same reasons there are protocols for anything, which is either because it helps to get things done, or, it helps to define a role in society. On Sundays, the slave would drive me to meetings. I would not insult the people at the meeting, by forcing someone to be there, who is not interested. So, the slave would not be staying, unless it expressed an interest in learning, or, unless I was not feeling well and might need to leave early. It would just come back and pick me up, once the meeting was over. There would probably be other things scheduled and other things to do that are less scheduled or not scheduled at all; but, that is the general gist, without tottering off into some fantasy.

8/27/2011 1:44:06 PM [Report Entry] The lifestyle I am living now:  Working from home, as a copy editor, in a home in need of repair.  Very casual. mostly stay-at-home. No money! Need to exercise, take supplements, have the right sort of shoes. Can't afford them. Need to have repairs to house. Can't afford them. Need to have house cleaned and organized. Can't afford to pay for it, can't do it all myself. I get up in the mornings and read he Bible. Post a link to what I read to Facebook. Spend most of the rest of the day in a combination of applying for work, checking emails, light housework. Much resting, as I have to have it, because, I have Fibromyalgia, and, it's pretty bad.    The lifestyle I'd like to be living: Working from home, as a writer and painter, still with copy editing job.  Very well planned diet, supplement and exercise program. Meditation, reading the Bible Cleaning, cooking.  Exercising. What's the difference? Oh, it would be in a place with better repair, I'd feel better. There'd be more company, due to slave or husband, I could exercise and eat right so I would. I'd get more done, because I'd have more energy. And, well, maybe other things could happen. A little travel, going out, helping someone else with something they need to get done. I'm very goal-oriented, psychologically oriented. That's why I put myself as a Switch. Really, I am dominant, by nature, but, what motivates me is getting done what needs to be done, enjoying the time I spend with people, having fun, having pleasant experiences, love, friendship, happiness. So, I would welcome anyone in my life, and, any situation, wherein those goals were being met. I need my purpose to be fulfilled. If that means working for you, you working for me, our being in love and you sitting at my feet, or, me sitting at yours, I am interested.  I think that is the difference between people who call themselves Switches and other people, because, really, we all serve someone, at times, and, we are all served at times, but, most of us can only mostly do it one way, even if it means not getting things done. whereas some of us, regardless of what we are (dominant or submissive) are more oriented toward the completion of the goal. The end justifies the means. This is not an absolute theory, though. Just a thought. So, I could go further in explaining the lifestyle I would like to lead, but, it would confuse issues. If I say, for instance: Living with slaves Setting orders and goals for the week. Having you at my feet, waiting on my whim Well, that might pique the interest of the slave type, but, how would the submissive who wishes to be a husband, or the dominant who wants to find someone to cook and clean for him, or the dominant who is looking for a wife, or ... how would any of those people feel? And, why should i exclude them, if they are people where the addition of them into my life will lead to better health and/or the bills being paid?  I want a comfortable place to live, better health, companionship, passionate romance, marriage, all in a lifestyle wherein I can write, paint, and worship God in the manner I see fit. If you have some suggestion of how you can fit into my life and make those things happen, then, make the suggestion.

8/27/2011 11:14:00 AM [Report Entry] My current living situation: I am living on the west, or northwest, side of Tucson, in a house. It is not paid for, yet, it needs some work, and, it costs about $750 to live in, per month. It could be less, with prudence, curtains, and repair.  It's between Glenn and Grant, off 15th Avenue, in the Miracle Manor neighborhood. The yard is over 6,000 sq ft. The house is between 900 -1,000 sq ft, 2 bedroom, 2 bath, with a dining room area/kitchen in the front.  My eldest son has the smallest bedroom, for now. He is a young adult, and, he is aware of my being on this site, that I have attempted to find the right sort of slave.  He doesn't want to be directly involved, but, is open to sharing our home with a slave. Of course, if I met someone for a more romantic purpose, he would have nothing to say, one way or the other.  I will have the bigger bedroom. Currently, my eldest daughter is using it, but, she is moving out at the end of the month. There is a laundry 'room', which is to say a small space, with a door, attached but accessible from the outside. I am working part-time from home, but, am not making enough money to pay the bills, so I do need a roommate, and, would prefer it was by way of a romantic interest, who I marry, or, a non-sexual service slave. The place is a bit of a wreck, right now, due to  moving in, people moving out, things needing repair, and, me having Fibromyalgia.   The latest profile:

Taking a tip from a Dom friend of mine, and, focusing on fulfilling specific needs, with more than one sub or slave, if needed, since it is virtually impossible to find one serious, multipurpose one, who is ready to commit. So, below is a list of things that I would like to do, or I need done. I will entertain any legal offer that will result in an accomplishment of same. I am interested in shedding fat, toning up. I know what needs to be done, as far as supplements and exercises, but, I don't have the money or equipment. Is there a sub or slave out there who also needs to lose weight, who would like to join me? You provide the supplements and the work out equipment, I provide the plan and the disciplinary motivation! Grooming slaves are wonderful. I know there are those, out there, who enjoy giving manicures, pedicures, foot rubs, shaving legs. Be glad to meet them. I need new clothes, at least a few key pieces and another pair of shoes. I have some sandals that fit my feet, but, the straps are too short for my fat little ankles. Do you know how to repair /replace such things? If you need help with motivation for cleaning your home, I am available, as a paid position, to come in and monitor your progress. This could be through the more intensive method of watching you work, cropping you when you get distracted (for instance), or, by coming at regularly scheduled intervals, checking cleanliness  and administering punishment or reward for the cleanliness level you have maintained.  Have a Toshiba whose screen appears to be loose, keyboard needs to be replaced, and, USB ports appear to need to be fixed or replaced. To fix it would be far cheaper than to replace it, especially if there was someone who could do the work for cheap or for free. I have had other computers, but, this is the best lap top of them all, so far, despite its many problems, as it is faster, has a built in camera, and, has more memory than you do! lol Trading "salt glow" rubs. You bring the Epsom salts, peppermint oil, and, olive oil. I'll show you how to use them, and, give you a great salt glow rub down that will leave you feeling softer, cleaner, and  cooler. Could use someone that knows how to trim up plants, rake the yard. I have a rake, a shovel and a hose. I don't claim they are wonderful tools, but, I have them. Need a sub or slave to put together some shelving for me. It is a shelving unit that was purchased from a thrift store, years ago. Some of the metal strips that hold the doo dads that hold the shelves up have come loose; one of the side towers is in bad need of being reglued and/or renailed, altogether; and, quite frankly, I cannot remember the configuration the whole thing should be going back together into, nor do I have the energy for shifting it around until I figure it out.  Someone came by to "fix" my cooler, once, and, may have put the wrong motor in it. I know they purposely broke the line that fed water into it, but, allegedly, that has been repaired now. I am told that they, also, have almost certainly hooked the wires up backwards. This was a case of a man who was the father of my daughter's girlfriend, when both daughter and girlfriend were living with me, sabotaging things, because, he wanted to drive his daughter to move back home. I have a ceiling fan that has worked, on occasion, but, mostly, no. I believe it has a loose wire. Someone who knows how to repair such things, and ,will do so, would be great. Yes, we can trade sessions for the work, or money spent, that sort of thing. But, no, I will not trade sex for service or money, as that is both illegal and immoral.  Yes, I have wild desires for whips, chains, commands, floggers, floggings, and all sorts of else, but, I save that talk for actual established relationships, in general. And, it works like this. If, for some reason I am serving you, I will tell you what my limits are. If you are serving me, you will tell me what your limits are. The rest is up to the person being served. End of story.

Miscellaneous Forum Posts:

RE: D/s and exclusivity. - 8/20/2010 7:33:53 PM    MistressArletta Vanilla Posts: 4 Joined: 8/16/2010 Status: offline D/s exclusivity, in my experience, has always been the choice of D not s; but, if it's that important to s, they need to state it when the contract is being negotiated. In my case, s stands for slave, not sub, and my slaves will be non-sexual in their service to me, so there is no reason for exclusivity. In fact, if I were exclusive with one, it would just mean more work for him and worse service for me. And, the various s's, their non-exclusivity will be by reward for good service, not at their whim. It is that way because I want it that way, and if they wanted it some other way, they should have opted to be D and looked for their own s. javascript:void(opener.AddText('[sm\=domme.gif]')); self.focus(); Though, there is this one fellow, who if I were to get together with him, he would still be a bit s, but, only submissive and only to me, and that would be exclusive to me and, sexually and romantically, I would be exclusive to him; whilst still owning and domming the slaves and he would also be domming the slaves ... the little s.. lut. (in reply to sodsta)

RE: Emotional sadism - 8/21/2010 9:44:38 AM

MistressArletta Vanilla Posts: 4 Joined: 8/16/2010 Status: offline

quote: Humiliation in a scene is hot; causing uncertainty, frustration and feeling unbalanced in the relationship itself is not hot. If you feel your partner does not care for you, there is nothing left. Amen to that! Keep trying to explain that to slave wanna-be's, who keep trying to tell me they want a cruel, harsh, unrelenting Mistress. I mean, if a Mistress is like that 24/7 she's not even in control of herself and she's certainly not interested in owning them as propety. She's just a bitch out to destroy someone else! (in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 7:01:22 PM

MistressArletta Vanilla Posts: 4 Joined: 8/16/2010 Status: offline

Boring submissive: Oh God, yes! What made it boring? A tiresome and tedious need to be on display and fishing for compliments at all turns (Should I wear my tight orange shorts for you? You can see everything. You'll love to tease me in the pool); an inability to understand any jokes or teasing; and, being too concerned with what some strangers across the way, who weren't even paying attention thought, to do one little silly thing in public. Not an illegal thing, not a sexual thing, just a silly thing. That was all roled into one submissive - and, yes, I know I spelled roled that way, and I did it on purpose. The clamoring for attention, demanding all of a Dom/Domme's time and energy, that's really boring. Just a selfish "subbie" with no conversation. (in reply to Aileen1968

bloggy blogs from bloggers

12/28/2010 12:10:23 AM Look, what I want is NOT complicated. See, there is this language, called English, which has many dialects and slang words, yes, but, it also has a basic set of words and phrases that really mean what they say, or close enough, so that when someone says 'slave' the people listening know that they mean 'unpaid worker that is going to work it's pretty arse off for me, make money for me, be a part of my life, follow orders, be polite and respectful to all, and generally not be an uppity bitch with delusions of godhood and way to many demands about what I should put up it's arse.'   Get a frigging dictionary and a thesaurus! There are some online. Now, look up the definitions and use the smallest modicum of common sense:   I want a slave, or a few slaves, who will serve me in every aspect of however  I NEED them to serve, with the exception of those ways which would break their spirit, mind or body.   They don't have to be pretty, old, young, tall, short, fat, thin, male, female - but, they do have to be fully male or fully female, without dressing to pretend to be the other sex.   They don't have to be rich, poor, atheist, religious, introverted, extroverted, or anything else  EXCEPT ....  LOYAL  OBEDIENT  HARD WORKING THOUGHTFUL  CAPABLE   LISTENING  ACCEPTING OF PUNISHMENT but never seeking it and their fetish, their primary fetish must be to do things for other people out of a sincere and deep, driving need. BONUS POINTS if they write real stories or novels, not technical books and not pornography or gore/horror schlock.   They must not be 'toilets', and they must not expect sex with me.   Now, stop asking frigging stupid questions, sort your shite out, and if you really want to be owned by a truly dominant woman, rather than just to have your arse diddled by another fetishist, get in touch with me.   And, yes, dearhearts, I WILL test you! If you refuse to participate, then I know you are a fake. So, bye!

12/27/2010 6:10:49 PM You know, when I was a slave, what I wanted to know, primarily, about anyone I served is 1) Are they going to respect the things that I cannot do (physically) or that I just will not do (social, spiritual, law abiding vs law breaking stuff)?  2) Are they any good at giving orders? You can tell a lot about how serious someone is, not by how much they threaten you with pain (which anyone can do), but, by if their orders are clear, and, their willingness to clear up reasonable misunderstandings without resorting to insane bouts of screeching. If they take being your owner seriously, in the positive aspects, they are almost certainly going to take the rest seriously, too. Because I do not go around telling people that I am going to grind their face into the dirt, after spitting in their mouth, right before shoving a broomstick up their arse, because they failed to hang the toilet paper right, they assume it means I am incapable of grabbing them by their hair, pulling them down to their knees and standing on their head with one foot, while I whip them, for getting far too lippy and free with their speech.   Now, would I do that?  For that, probably not. For insulting my mother, almost certainly.   Example? Fair enough. When my ex was still my husband and it had already been established that I could kick his ass, when he tried to beat me down one day, we came to a sort of truce.  Allegedly. See, it was time for a family gathering. We decided to go to where mine was, as his didn't like him and no one liked them. But, I demanded a promise from him that he would not start insulting my nephew or acting  rude to my mother, etc.  We had a good, long talk about it and he promised. We get there, and, within minutes, not only is he acting rude, but, he is walking toward my nephew, saying horrible things and with his fist raised. So, I grabbed both his wrists  while reaching up to secure a finger of each hand and bend them back as far as they would go without breaking. And, I put my knee in his back and pull his arms backward until he loses his balance and goes down gently to his knees. Then, I told him 'You promised me. Now, you can't stay.' and marched him out, put him in the vehicle and made him stay there. I had the keys.  Yes, he could have left, but, I also had his wallet and all the money, and our children and the keys to the apartment.   Tried to beat me down one day? Yes. He told his friends, right in front of me, that he was going to bitch slap him a bitch. And, I told him we are not having that sort of relationship, so if he raises his hand to bitch slap me, he's going to find himself being the bitch that was bitch slapped with his own bitchy little bitch hand for trying to bitch slap a bitch. He did not believe me. Until he was down on the ground and I was slapping him in the face with his own arm.   I am strong, fast, intelligent, and resourceful. Not as strong and fast as I used to be, but, you know, more than enough to deal with the average man who is not insane, but, who does not want to be a slave; so, surely, for those who are going to be obedient, there should be no problem at all.   Of course, the more you doubt me, the more I don't want you.

12/27/2010 12:12:44 PM 'The practice of S/M is the creation of pleasure. … And that’s why S/M is really a subculture. It’s a process of invention. S/M is the use of a strategic relationship as a source of pleasure.'Michel Foucault Do you agree? Before you go further, here are two very important, time saving questions.Be honest with yourself and answer them to yourself.: 1. Are any of your fetishes related to bodily fluids, emissions, or other releases (blood, urine, feces, scat), animals, children, extreme abuse up to the removal of body parts or the drawing of blood, burning with cigarettes, or anything of a similar nature? 2. Do you love, like, or live for any of the things which are on my hard limits list, over to the left - as in you are unwilling or unable to do without them in your life? If the answer to either, or both, questions is yes, goodbye. If the answers are both no, proceed.    I am not a fetishist. I do not seek fetishists. Some milder slave fetishes may be accommodated. The questions below will help to determine if we are of similar mindset. Answer them and I will tel you if it seems we should proceed, thereby saving us a lot of time, one way or another.There is another saying , I enjoy: 'Start as you intend to finish.' I am not here to converse randomly with slaves. I am here to create a strategic relationship as a source of pleasure - mutual pleasure. You want to be trained to the will of another, I want to train another to my will. There is our common ground. Now, let us see if there is further compatibility. If  there is, we will discuss contracts, and, if all goes well, begin to serve and be served, in short order.  I am, however, taking the advice of both sayings, and I am not compromising on those things most important to my lifestyle. I would have a better life with slaves that fit into it, yes; but, I would have a worse life with slaves who did not, whatever their earning capacity or other charms. Money is not everything, either is kink. Compatibility of personality and a working toward common goals are what brings people together. There are rules for the reading and use of this profile. Read it through and follow the rules.If you send me messages without doing so, I will probably delete them and block you.  Rule # 1: If you are a slave or submissive, do not contact me without reading this profile in full, regardless of whether or no you wish to apply for the position of being my slave. However, if you do not wish to apply for the position, state so in your first message, after reading it, and feel free not to answer the questions, etc. Rule # 2: Do not expect me to initiate contact. It may happen, but, I doubt it. Even if I do, Rule # 1 applies. Rule # 3: I need serious slaves who are ready to begin the process of becoming real, in-person, full time, 24/7, 365 owned slaves-actual (as in workers, companions, entertainment; not lovers, not friends). By the reading of this profile and taking action, you will be showing me that you are one of them. Do not begin answering the questions, unless you are sure you want to be owned, and you want to be considered as a potential slave for me. There is plenty of information in my journal entries, to help you decide. Rule #4: I am not here to be judged by slaves. My ways are what they are. True slaves will reorient themselves to my methods. Do not ask my interests, or what I will or will not do to, for, against, or with you. When I have reason to believe you are acceptable to me, you will be told what you need to know. Rule # 5: This is not so much of a rule as a statement of fact: I love God; I believe that Jesus is his Son, who died for our sins. I tell you this, here and now, because so many 'slaves' claim that I never mentioned this to them (even though it is mentioned several times in journal entries, and usually mentioned on my profile, and definitely mentioned during conversation). If this is going to be a problem for you: goodbye! You may give excellent service, but, no one does enough to make me think I would choose them over God. Rule # 6: Answer the questions below, cutting and pasting them into a message and giving your answer below each question, in a neat and orderly manner. Do not ask, or try to guess, what answer I want. What I want is honesty. If the answers are acceptable to me, we will have a more informal discussion by email. 1. Are you looking for a domme (woman who is a sexually dominant play or romantic partner) or a dominant owner (someone who sets the rules and punishments, guides, teaches discipline, in a non-sexual, non-romantic capacity)? 2. Are you seeking sexual play, physical pain, emotional pain, or acceptance? What is your primary motivation in being a slave? What do you think makes someone a true slave?3. Are you truly relocatable? How long would it take you to relocate, and, why? 4. Is your entering into service contingent upon living conditions? How so, and, why? 5. Would you rather give or have it taken by force? (Regardless of what 'it' is) 6. Does who you choose to accept as your owner is hinge upon them fulfilling your fetishistic or sexual needs - must your owner utilize them to motivate you to service? Or, are they something that you could forgo, altogether (or, do part time with someone else) for the greater pleasure of being allowed to be in full time service? 7. What are your religious and political beliefs, or lack thereof, and how important is this stance to you? Does whom you choose as an owner hinge upon their religious or political beliefs being the same as your own? 8. Do you want a Mistress who is a goddess, claiming to have powers over you, controlling your will and forcing you to perform vile acts? Or, would you prefer a kinder, gentler Mistress who is only harsh when you have displeased her, who can be put on a pedestal, but, never wishes to be worshiped as a deity? 9. If someone sets you the task of cleaning the kitchen, does your head fill with ideas related to sponges, scrubbers, how to operate their dishwasher? Or, does it fill with thoughts of you in stockings, face ground into the linoleum by the booted foot of your owner, feeling your butt plug jiggle in fear, as you are growled at and told that you did it all wrong and must do it again? Which of these two scenarios, above, comes closer to your thought processes? 10. Can you serve a woman who is/will be married to another man? What if the man was made your Master? What if he was just her husband, no one's Master? What if he was a slave? What if she were his slave? 11. Are you prepared for the possibility of signing a contract, a letter of intent, and/or whatever else is necessary for a fully legal, binding agreement, complete with exchange of address and other contact information, notarization of documents, and etc? 12. When someone says 'service' to you, what thoughts pop into your head? Is it more about oral worship, or vacuuming?  13. Which sounds better to you: quiet but stern or vicious and bitchy? 14. Which sounds better to you: weird and wild or sedate and classy? 15. Which sounds better to you: sexual domination only or total domination without sex? 16. Which sounds better to you: waiting for your Mistress to return home or traveling?   I will read and consider your answers, your profile, and decide if we shall continue past this point. As I will read your answers, your profile, and judge if you seem to be compatible, on top of answering the questions, you would be wise to go and rethink your profile as most of the 'slaves' I have encountered on here, thus far, have done a rather bad job of representing themselves. Rule # 7:  Rethink your profile and make appropriate corrections. Your profile should reflect a) (live for) those things that must be a part of your life, because without them you would break, and (hard limits) those things you cannot live with, because living with them, you would break. b) (hate) those things which would be suitable for punishment, or which you hope not to have to engage in, but, which you will engage in if ordered. c)(love) those things which, if an Owner wished to reward you or see you smile, they could give to you, do to you, or allow you to be a part of. Rule # 8: You will also change your profile, ceasing to seek other dominants or anyone besides friends. At the top of the section where typing can be done, you will announce that you are being considered by me. Rule # 9: You will write to me and ask me, specifically, to consider you. Rule # 10: You will send a photo or video that has you (I need to see your face, your eyes) holding a sign that says 'Please consider me, Mistress Arletta?' or something of a similar nature, to prove your existence. Or, you may write it upon your body. Rule #11: If you want to know what I seek, think, feel, what interests me, then, learn to read. I will not reply to you if you ask, for now, as I have provided much by way of journal entry, and you may also look up my yahoo blog. In fact, Googling my name should provide you with much information, since very few people on the planet have this name, and, even less of them are 42 years of age, Caucasian looking, and in Tucson, Arizona. Obviously, the rules, above, are for the sake of slaves who are in the beginning stage of getting to know each other. We will discuss things in more detail, after the rules are followed, and they may ask questions after I have proof that they have read at least some of my journal entries. Since it has been asked: Yes - slaves, submissives, Masters, Dommes, Mistresses, or any other persons who feel the urge, may freely use these questions as a means of screening, or as an enhancement to their profile or journal entries.

12/27/2010 9:29:45 AM Well, there is one 'slave' proven an absolute liar. Yesterday, he was telling me he would sign any agreement I sent him and begging to be my slave (probably while he was jerking off). So, I went ahead and I sent him the same basic contract that I also sent to someone I believed, more, and, I just got it back with a note that he will not sign this contract. So, that's it for him. As I said before, the best way to get rid of a fantasist is to interject reality into their life.

12/27/2010 8:47:32 AM Movies that I have watched over and over again, and am likely to watch many, many more times if the chance comes up: Camelot (musical, Richard Harris) Stranger than Fiction (Do not like Will Ferrel, in general, but, love this movie) Sound of Music The King and I Anna and the King The Outlaw Josey Wales  North To Alaska Life of Brian Star Wars (the real one) Braveheart Rooster Cogburn The Quiet Man (always frustratingly in need of more)   That is not all of them, by any means, but, it is a good selection. Should tell you something, maybe, if you are the thinking kind.   In fact, Camelot and the two other King movies could teach you a lot about more organic forms of servitude. Do you see the Queen prancing with the other ladies? Do you think it in any way means she could not have ordered them jailed or beheaded, if they overstepped their bounds? Do you see the King dancing with the school teacher, who is his hired labor? Do you think he could not have had her beheaded, regardless of if she overstepped her bounds or no? Yet, there is laughter, friendliness - everyone is not nude, endlessly shackled and full of wounds, are they? Do you think it means these people do not know their place, either the rulers or the ruled? If they have forgotten, on either side, will they not be quickly reminded? I want this, more than all other forms. Yes, shackles and chains and whips and corner time and all that are perfectly fine extensions of lifestyle, reminders, tools - but, without that organic certitude of place, it all means nothing.

12/26/2010 9:34:28 PM Is this stupidity or just taking the piss?   (slave who claimed to have read my profile and have become ready to proceed, which, if he had read my profile and even tried to understand it, he would not have messaged me to say, on being told goodbye): am sorry please give me another chance   Me: Then do it right, this time. (slave): yes Maam   Me: Don't message me, again, not even to say yes Ma'am, until you have read my profile well enough to understand what needs to be done and have the time by which to do it.   (slave): yes Maam Me: Goodbye   Newsflash 'slaves': If you are too lazy to follow simple instructions or even to read them and decide you don't want to follow them, you are worth NOTHING as a slave; and, if you still can't follow them, or won't, lazy or not, you aren't worth anything as a slave, then, either.   If you spend your time thinking with your cock then go to a site for people who want cocks and nothing but cocks. If you want a genuine, serious relationship based on ownership, maybe we should talk. Maybe!

12/26/2010 4:22:17 PM The easiest way to dissuade fantasists from continuing on is to interrupt them with reality. Hence my profile. There is a local man who keeps asking if he can come spend time with me, yet, he will not read my profile and answer those few questions.   This is not a man who wants to spend time with me; he just wants someone easy to get close to, who has feet.   There is another man who shows up, asks me odd questions and insists he wants to be my slave, begs me to send him contracts. Then, he disappears for indeterminate amounts of time. So, today, while he was telling me how much he needs to serve, I told him to order pizza from Domino's - that way, with no risk of giving out credit card numbers or anything silly - he will learn that I am telling the truth of my address and I will learn that he is telling the truth about wanting to serve. It has certainly been more than a half hour, and there has been no delivery.   Why do I keep him around, do you ask? Because, when he shows up and annoys me, his questions help me think, and, in this thinking, my contracts improve.Usually.   What I have learned, this time, is that there is a site where I can send documents to have them electronically signed (actually learned that a wee while ago), but, to do so the contract would need to be written in a 'The undersigned' kind of way, instead of giving specific mention of a person throughout.  Or, I would have to fix the area where the names go to allow for room for a field so that it could be filled out electronically, also, as the need came up. Something to think about, then!

12/25/2010 11:01:31 AM

12/25/2010 10:54:01 AM

12/25/2010 10:21:43 AM More on strategy:   Where are you today, slave? What is it you are doing? Who are you doing it with?   Would you like to, ever, do it again? Is it important to you? Would your heart break, your insides break, if you never saw those people again?   Now, that is the sort of thing that should be negotiated in a contract!   Don't assume. Plan.

many fine blog posts

12/25/2010 8:40:55 AM 'The practice of S/M is the creation of pleasure. … And that’s why S/M is really a subculture. It’s a process of invention. S/M is the use of a strategic relationship as a source of pleasure.'Michel Foucault   The key word, kiddies is: strategic.   What does it mean, to say that S/M (which for our purposes encompasses sadism, masochism, slave, master and the whole shebang) is the use of a strategic relationship? What is a strategic relationship?   Well, first off, we look at the last word: relationship, which means 'connection' So, this is not just people coming together for a good time, who do not care about each other, personally. This is about people who are seeking some form of actual connection with at least one other person. It doesn't have to be romantic, or sexual, but, it does have to be a true connection.   Therefore, if you are here, looking for a good time, you are not looking for anything connected to S/M, or bdsm, but, are looking for just kink or slutty fun, and you are cordially invited to leave. Yes, I have the right, means, guts, and balls by which to say that, just as if I belonged here and you don't. That is because I am, in fact, seeking strategic relationships as a source of pleasure, and I know that there are many others on this site who agree with me.   I don't expect that you will leave, but, I wish you would, since, obviously, you are clogging up the works, wasting your time and the time of those of us who are seeking an actual connection with someone(s). So, why not go to a site for persons who are looking for fetish fun? This is not it. Or, it shouldn't be. This is meant to be a nice, sweet little 'dating' site, not a meat rack, and is for people who are looking for people who want to be connected , emotionally, with people like them.   Now, on to strategy, which means 'an elaborate and systematic plan of action designed to achieve a particular goal'   Strategy is exactly why I just suggested those other people go off to some other site. They are not strategically placed to get the most, or best, results for what they are seeking; and, due to their lack of strategic maneuvering, what I am seeking is much more hidden, on this site, than it should be. Therefore, it is part of my strategy, to get what I want, to help them to see that they would be happier somewhere more geared toward giving them what they want.   I am thinking of the quote, above (which is, also, currently on my profile), relationships, and strategy, this morning, particularly because of a man who wishes to be a slave. He lives in Cardiff, and his profile says that he is willing to relocate.   He approached me, a wee while ago, him having no knowledge of where I was located, what I looked like, my age, height, weight or anything; answered my questions, and we had a great discussion of things, finding ourselves to be very suited in some fundamental fashions. There were two that we found we were possibly going to be a bother, which is religion and romance; but, he assured me he could do without the sex and romance stuff, at least for a while, and, while I am religious, I have no intention of forcing that onto others as it would be rude to God to do any such thing.   Suddenly, however, he tells me that he does not think we'll suit because he does not want to relocate to the United States of America (although, without being polite enough to use the proper name, in any fashion), not even for a little while, and, that his home is too small to share.   Now, the sort of relocating we were speaking of, was only him being here for 6 months, or less, out of the year, and, me being there, in the U.K., maybe, sometimes at his place, for 6 months, or less, out of the year. This is because I have reasons I want to be in Musselburgh, which is nearish Edinburgh, in Scotland, in the United Kingdom, at least sometimes, and I would like to travel at other times. This was nothing where anyone needed to change residences. He knew that. We had discussed it.   So, today, I, thinking strategically, suggested to him that he change his profile to indicate where he is, or is not, willing to relocate to, as it would save him and the people who might otherwise be interested in him a whole lot of time. Now, I will share with you the emails, omitting his ID, etc.:   Me: I was thinking about you, this morning, and your not wanting to relocate to the U.S. of A. Nothing bad, really; just, that's the sort of thing that should be on your profile. Because, you do say you are willing to relocate, and you do want to be a slave, so, anyone who took you as their slave would assume you are 'willing to relocate' to wherever it is they get off to. Since that is not the case, you should specify where you are willing to relocate to, and make sure that when you have a contract, it also specifies such things. Otherwise, you could end up over here, anyway.   Him: That's a fair point about relocation, but moving to the US isn't easy without a green card, as I think everyone knows. I always thought that 'willing to relocate' mean something like 'within one's own country.'   Me: No. Willing to relocate means 'willing to relocate' , and, you do not need a green card, if you are only visiting. So, if you are 'willing to relocate' , but, only to a certain degree, you should say so. It doesn't matter what you think - it matters what the people who are looking for slaves think, when they see it. More specificity means less wasted time.   Him: This may be nitpicking, but relocating means 'not just visiting' therefore a green card would be needed to relocate, therefore I think it would be usually understood not to be possible. I really don't believe that one has to say 'I'm only free to do possible things' because that is kind of obvious.   Me: Right. If you were only going to do the things that are easiest for you, then, you would not be a slave, at all. Do you want to be a slave, or do you not want to be a slave? If you want to be a slave, then, you must accept the viewpoint of others, not expect them to reorient themselves to yours. And, since 1) It is not at all impossible for you to relocate to the U.S.A., generally, it would be thought to be a  big lot of bother, but, something that you, the slave, has said you will do (relocate, in general with no specific criteria listed as to where or where not and why), so, it would be no impediment were everything else right. and 2) it is not your province to dictate what other people believe relocation means, for their needs,  or how they would view what 'willing to relocate' means, your alternative to wasting a good lot of time for yourself and others is to be very specific as to what relocation means to you. And, I already told you that relocation, for you, would mean, to me, that you would not need a green card, as I wanted to spend a good lot of time in the U.K. and the weather here in the summer time is evil, so I only want to be here, in Tucson, half the year or less. Since persons from the U.K. and the U.S.A. are allowed to visit 6 months out of the year, without having to resort to changing citizenship or getting specific visas, it is not even remotely impossible for someone from the U.K. to serve me, based on my needs, unless they are excessively poor and I have no other slaves. Which is why you should make your profile as informative, in brief, as possible. Because, obviously, it is not about the green card - since the green card is not something required to serve me. I don't care what it is - I am not asking you to justify yourself to me - I am giving you good advice on how to prevent this particular b.s. from happening again. Being 'willing to relocate' has no boundaries attached to it. And, many fine slaves do add a little something to their profile, such as how their company has branch offices in these three cities, so those are the places they are willing to relocate to, or how they do not want to leave their family so they are only willing to relocate within this limited area, or they absolutely would only relocate to other places in America or in Europe, or etc. I was giving you that advice for your benefit. I don't know why that makes you angry or argumentative, but, I do know how much I have to put up with it. I'm blocking you for the rest of the day. Yes, blocking him may have been a trifle harsh, but, then, maybe not; if he was my slave, and insisted on getting lippy, telling me I had to accept his interpretation rather than for him to accept mine, I might gag him. Might even do more than that. So …   Strategy is important. Which means, yes, nitpicking is important. It is how one gets rid of pests, after all.   So, if you are someone who knows what you want, lay it out on your profile and in your journal entries. Even if you only know a few things, let those particular kitties out of the bag, so that when people pass by your profile, they will see what it is you know you want and they can quickly determine if there is a reason for them to message you and find out more.   Also, read other people's profiles, as the ones who are most serious and knowledgeable as to what they want, have usually developed a profile that is more strategically apt. Yes, sure, it seems like a waste of time, but, how much waste is it to read 1-10 minutes of writing, versus reading hours of writing, for the next few weeks, before it is determined that at least one of you is wasting time? Read the profiles, as part of your strategy, to help you save time and energy, and keep you moving along in your search, without too many pit stops or too much disappointment.   And, if you don't know what you want, figure it out. If you don't know yourself, enough to be able to say what you want, at least for now, then you have no business even being in a relationship. No one can connect to you, until you are all there.

12/21/2010 11:05:02 PM Here's the basic facts of life: If you have to be forced to do something, and you want to enter into a relationship where you are being forced to perform tasks, give money, or whatever, then you are not acting as a slave or as a submissive. You are acting as a Top, who enjoys being forced to do things, and who will mete out rewards to those who kowtow to him by beating him just as he wants to be beaten, etc. If I have to force you to submit, it means nothing. It is a lie.If you want to give, if you want to be accepted and tempered, kept safe, so you have a focus for that giving and someone to tell you that they are pleased, that this is enough, if you are looking for that home for body, mind, and soul, and you willingly give to me, then, it means everything. If you cannot understand this .. I don't even know what to say to you, anymore. I know the pain of wanting to 'do for' other people, the thrill  of helping them with their groceries or cleaning their home, and the pain of being laughed at for doing these things, or being accused of doing it because you have some ulterior motive. For people who feel like that, having an owner, someone they can trust to accept their gifts  and help them to know what to do, is a blessing. It is not being used, being taken advantage of. It is being understood.If you even might be interested in being my slave, you should write 'kumquat techtonics' at me, in a message, so I know you are reading my journal entries.

12/21/2010 5:15:54 PM I am not cruel!  I am pragmaticCruel: Disposed to inflict pain or suffering. Yes, 'able' is also part of some definitions, but, when they say 'able' they still mean 'disposed to'. I am not disposed to inflict pain or suffering. I do not wake up in the morning and say 'My, oh my, how fun my day will be, because I have small children to kick, grown men to make bleed, and if I can I shall make that puppy cry.' I am not that person.Pragmatic: Dealing or concerned with facts or actual occurrences; practical.I am practical. If you need to be beaten, you will be. If you need to be put in the corner, tied up, forced to make recompense, tossed out on your ear you will be. If there is a practical solution that is less violent, less disruptive that will produce a desired result, it will be utilized. It is pragmatism that leads me to a search for slaves. I like slaves, slaves are useful, I need useful people in my life; I can lead, teach, train, and love slaves; slaves need someone who can do these things. All of which add up to: my life and the life of whatever slave I own will be better, since we will be giving each other things we need in life.If I just wanted someone to beat, tie up, kick, have sex with, or any of that .. pfft .. that's easy to get!

12/21/2010 3:25:53 PM

I will tell you something about slaves, slavery, and husbandry, slave: See, too many of you think that if a woman owns a slave that means she has to provide for his sexual service with her own body. Well, honey, that is just not how it usually went, per the history books, and that is not how it goes here.If I fall in love with a man, and he is in love with me, we will be married and I'll do things to him that will make his toes curl, because, yes, I do love sex, very, very much.But, slaves are not lovers, friends, or husbands. They are also not animals. They are something else, altogether.Because they are workers, like the animals, they must be taken care of, and that includes taking care of their sexual needs, if those needs are getting in the way of their being able to work, or getting the owner down with all the mopey behavior.Because they are human, like the owner, they will not simply be castrated like an animal might be. They might be left out in the field to rut, if the owner feels it is appropriate, though.I do not feel that is appropriate. I do, however, feel that the long standing traditions of marrying slaves to other slaves, or the slave having a free born spouse who knows that the slave will be serving and only has time to give them when the work is done, is perfectly reasonable as a solution to the dilemma of slaves who cannot control their sexual appetites.It was common practice, in 19th century slavery, for an owner to pair two slaves who were already on the same plantation, for the sake of the slaves breeding. Or, the owner might have gone to buy a slave for the slave he already owned to marry and breed with. Or, sometimes, they would simply seek out other owners who had slaves, and make agreements that the male and female slaves would be married to each other, with the owners of the female slaves keeping the babies.Now, I don't want to go that far! I have no interest in enslaving children or anyone who is not capable of making a firm decision that they wish to serve me. So, don't even start asking questions about that.It was less common, but, still, a perfectly acceptable practice, to allow slaves, either on the same plantation as each other or on different ones, to marry for love. Often, their owners provided them with a home separate from other slaves for the purpose of having the comfort of family, hearth and home, such as there could be comfort in their situation. If the slaves were on different plantations and fell in love, sometimes their owners would arrange to buy the other slave, because, they wanted their slaves to be happy and productive people.So, don't come at me with a lot of gobblety-gook as to how I must milk you, sit on your face, allow you to lick or suck anything, or etc. and try to rationalize that it is what makes consensual slavery into true slavery.Uh uh, honey! If you are truly a slave, you will jump when I say jump; you will dance when I say dance; you will work when I tell you to work; and, you will be allowed to marry (or ordered to marry) whom I choose to allow you to marry. But, my body is my own and I am no one's slave, so I don't have to do you!So, keep that in mind. No, I am not going to force you to marry a slave girl or anyone else that doesn't strike your fancy, slave boy. That's not what I mean, because I am not that sort of person. Just saying, if you need sex, romance, etc. I may help you get it, but, I don't have to provide it from my own body.IF you want to be this sort of slave, write 'gerbil frumpkin' into a message and send it to me.

12/21/2010 2:51:32 PM

If you do not want pain, then do not seek an owner who will want to give it to you. That is my advice to you. Me, personally, yes, I can give pain, but, I do not get turned on by the idea of torturing people. If I was going to whip someone, they would have earned it by their own bad behavior and it would have been seriously bad behavior. Or, perhaps, at first, I might give them a whipping, just to put them in mind of the fact that I can and will do so, so that when I tell them what not to do if they do not wish to experience it, they will have a clear understandng. Perhaps. In truth, I would just as soon have slaves who did their work well, were polite and never needed correction at all. Some I have known have come darned close to that, so I know it is possible. Unfortunately, most of them WANT to be treated badly.

12/21/2010 2:48:33 PM

'For sure, I could work and bring home the cash, but then there are even better slaves than me out there. My qualities comes from the need of serve, the need to please. I will turn myself inside out to know that I have brought pleasure to my Owner with no thoughts of myself. ' Absolutely beautiful! I keep trying to explain this to potential slaves, that the most important thing for a slave to have is the willingness to serve. Mind you, I haven't the resources to accept slaves who do not work  for wages BUT they seem to think that if they can offer some exhorbitant sum per week that means they are the better slave and they can play tradesies, getting me to change my hard limits for hard cash. Whereas they look down on slaves who, yes, make significantly less money, but, who think of the person they are hoping to serve, listen to them, help them do things, etc.  The best slave I've come across on this site is not relocatable, has no money to spare,and is making me no offers to serve me, because we both know that we do not have enough nickles to rub together to make a bus ticket appear or anything. However, he knew I was tired, one night, and swamped with work, and, instead of demanding my attention as the other 'slaves' were doing, he asked me to allow him to help with the typing. He did help, too, quite a bit, even though I had to take time to train him.  And, that is why he is the best slave - he's proven he is polite, thoughtful, trainable to task, with no need to be 'broken' into slavery. He wants to be that way, and so he is. Thank you for the inspirational words.Persons who want to be considered as a slave (for me) should send me a message, now, that says 'Pooter-based twinkie dogs' at the beginning of it.