many fine blog posts

12/25/2010 8:40:55 AM 'The practice of S/M is the creation of pleasure. … And that’s why S/M is really a subculture. It’s a process of invention. S/M is the use of a strategic relationship as a source of pleasure.'Michel Foucault   The key word, kiddies is: strategic.   What does it mean, to say that S/M (which for our purposes encompasses sadism, masochism, slave, master and the whole shebang) is the use of a strategic relationship? What is a strategic relationship?   Well, first off, we look at the last word: relationship, which means 'connection' So, this is not just people coming together for a good time, who do not care about each other, personally. This is about people who are seeking some form of actual connection with at least one other person. It doesn't have to be romantic, or sexual, but, it does have to be a true connection.   Therefore, if you are here, looking for a good time, you are not looking for anything connected to S/M, or bdsm, but, are looking for just kink or slutty fun, and you are cordially invited to leave. Yes, I have the right, means, guts, and balls by which to say that, just as if I belonged here and you don't. That is because I am, in fact, seeking strategic relationships as a source of pleasure, and I know that there are many others on this site who agree with me.   I don't expect that you will leave, but, I wish you would, since, obviously, you are clogging up the works, wasting your time and the time of those of us who are seeking an actual connection with someone(s). So, why not go to a site for persons who are looking for fetish fun? This is not it. Or, it shouldn't be. This is meant to be a nice, sweet little 'dating' site, not a meat rack, and is for people who are looking for people who want to be connected , emotionally, with people like them.   Now, on to strategy, which means 'an elaborate and systematic plan of action designed to achieve a particular goal'   Strategy is exactly why I just suggested those other people go off to some other site. They are not strategically placed to get the most, or best, results for what they are seeking; and, due to their lack of strategic maneuvering, what I am seeking is much more hidden, on this site, than it should be. Therefore, it is part of my strategy, to get what I want, to help them to see that they would be happier somewhere more geared toward giving them what they want.   I am thinking of the quote, above (which is, also, currently on my profile), relationships, and strategy, this morning, particularly because of a man who wishes to be a slave. He lives in Cardiff, and his profile says that he is willing to relocate.   He approached me, a wee while ago, him having no knowledge of where I was located, what I looked like, my age, height, weight or anything; answered my questions, and we had a great discussion of things, finding ourselves to be very suited in some fundamental fashions. There were two that we found we were possibly going to be a bother, which is religion and romance; but, he assured me he could do without the sex and romance stuff, at least for a while, and, while I am religious, I have no intention of forcing that onto others as it would be rude to God to do any such thing.   Suddenly, however, he tells me that he does not think we'll suit because he does not want to relocate to the United States of America (although, without being polite enough to use the proper name, in any fashion), not even for a little while, and, that his home is too small to share.   Now, the sort of relocating we were speaking of, was only him being here for 6 months, or less, out of the year, and, me being there, in the U.K., maybe, sometimes at his place, for 6 months, or less, out of the year. This is because I have reasons I want to be in Musselburgh, which is nearish Edinburgh, in Scotland, in the United Kingdom, at least sometimes, and I would like to travel at other times. This was nothing where anyone needed to change residences. He knew that. We had discussed it.   So, today, I, thinking strategically, suggested to him that he change his profile to indicate where he is, or is not, willing to relocate to, as it would save him and the people who might otherwise be interested in him a whole lot of time. Now, I will share with you the emails, omitting his ID, etc.:   Me: I was thinking about you, this morning, and your not wanting to relocate to the U.S. of A. Nothing bad, really; just, that's the sort of thing that should be on your profile. Because, you do say you are willing to relocate, and you do want to be a slave, so, anyone who took you as their slave would assume you are 'willing to relocate' to wherever it is they get off to. Since that is not the case, you should specify where you are willing to relocate to, and make sure that when you have a contract, it also specifies such things. Otherwise, you could end up over here, anyway.   Him: That's a fair point about relocation, but moving to the US isn't easy without a green card, as I think everyone knows. I always thought that 'willing to relocate' mean something like 'within one's own country.'   Me: No. Willing to relocate means 'willing to relocate' , and, you do not need a green card, if you are only visiting. So, if you are 'willing to relocate' , but, only to a certain degree, you should say so. It doesn't matter what you think - it matters what the people who are looking for slaves think, when they see it. More specificity means less wasted time.   Him: This may be nitpicking, but relocating means 'not just visiting' therefore a green card would be needed to relocate, therefore I think it would be usually understood not to be possible. I really don't believe that one has to say 'I'm only free to do possible things' because that is kind of obvious.   Me: Right. If you were only going to do the things that are easiest for you, then, you would not be a slave, at all. Do you want to be a slave, or do you not want to be a slave? If you want to be a slave, then, you must accept the viewpoint of others, not expect them to reorient themselves to yours. And, since 1) It is not at all impossible for you to relocate to the U.S.A., generally, it would be thought to be a  big lot of bother, but, something that you, the slave, has said you will do (relocate, in general with no specific criteria listed as to where or where not and why), so, it would be no impediment were everything else right. and 2) it is not your province to dictate what other people believe relocation means, for their needs,  or how they would view what 'willing to relocate' means, your alternative to wasting a good lot of time for yourself and others is to be very specific as to what relocation means to you. And, I already told you that relocation, for you, would mean, to me, that you would not need a green card, as I wanted to spend a good lot of time in the U.K. and the weather here in the summer time is evil, so I only want to be here, in Tucson, half the year or less. Since persons from the U.K. and the U.S.A. are allowed to visit 6 months out of the year, without having to resort to changing citizenship or getting specific visas, it is not even remotely impossible for someone from the U.K. to serve me, based on my needs, unless they are excessively poor and I have no other slaves. Which is why you should make your profile as informative, in brief, as possible. Because, obviously, it is not about the green card - since the green card is not something required to serve me. I don't care what it is - I am not asking you to justify yourself to me - I am giving you good advice on how to prevent this particular b.s. from happening again. Being 'willing to relocate' has no boundaries attached to it. And, many fine slaves do add a little something to their profile, such as how their company has branch offices in these three cities, so those are the places they are willing to relocate to, or how they do not want to leave their family so they are only willing to relocate within this limited area, or they absolutely would only relocate to other places in America or in Europe, or etc. I was giving you that advice for your benefit. I don't know why that makes you angry or argumentative, but, I do know how much I have to put up with it. I'm blocking you for the rest of the day. Yes, blocking him may have been a trifle harsh, but, then, maybe not; if he was my slave, and insisted on getting lippy, telling me I had to accept his interpretation rather than for him to accept mine, I might gag him. Might even do more than that. So …   Strategy is important. Which means, yes, nitpicking is important. It is how one gets rid of pests, after all.   So, if you are someone who knows what you want, lay it out on your profile and in your journal entries. Even if you only know a few things, let those particular kitties out of the bag, so that when people pass by your profile, they will see what it is you know you want and they can quickly determine if there is a reason for them to message you and find out more.   Also, read other people's profiles, as the ones who are most serious and knowledgeable as to what they want, have usually developed a profile that is more strategically apt. Yes, sure, it seems like a waste of time, but, how much waste is it to read 1-10 minutes of writing, versus reading hours of writing, for the next few weeks, before it is determined that at least one of you is wasting time? Read the profiles, as part of your strategy, to help you save time and energy, and keep you moving along in your search, without too many pit stops or too much disappointment.   And, if you don't know what you want, figure it out. If you don't know yourself, enough to be able to say what you want, at least for now, then you have no business even being in a relationship. No one can connect to you, until you are all there.

12/21/2010 11:05:02 PM Here's the basic facts of life: If you have to be forced to do something, and you want to enter into a relationship where you are being forced to perform tasks, give money, or whatever, then you are not acting as a slave or as a submissive. You are acting as a Top, who enjoys being forced to do things, and who will mete out rewards to those who kowtow to him by beating him just as he wants to be beaten, etc. If I have to force you to submit, it means nothing. It is a lie.If you want to give, if you want to be accepted and tempered, kept safe, so you have a focus for that giving and someone to tell you that they are pleased, that this is enough, if you are looking for that home for body, mind, and soul, and you willingly give to me, then, it means everything. If you cannot understand this .. I don't even know what to say to you, anymore. I know the pain of wanting to 'do for' other people, the thrill  of helping them with their groceries or cleaning their home, and the pain of being laughed at for doing these things, or being accused of doing it because you have some ulterior motive. For people who feel like that, having an owner, someone they can trust to accept their gifts  and help them to know what to do, is a blessing. It is not being used, being taken advantage of. It is being understood.If you even might be interested in being my slave, you should write 'kumquat techtonics' at me, in a message, so I know you are reading my journal entries.

12/21/2010 5:15:54 PM I am not cruel!  I am pragmaticCruel: Disposed to inflict pain or suffering. Yes, 'able' is also part of some definitions, but, when they say 'able' they still mean 'disposed to'. I am not disposed to inflict pain or suffering. I do not wake up in the morning and say 'My, oh my, how fun my day will be, because I have small children to kick, grown men to make bleed, and if I can I shall make that puppy cry.' I am not that person.Pragmatic: Dealing or concerned with facts or actual occurrences; practical.I am practical. If you need to be beaten, you will be. If you need to be put in the corner, tied up, forced to make recompense, tossed out on your ear you will be. If there is a practical solution that is less violent, less disruptive that will produce a desired result, it will be utilized. It is pragmatism that leads me to a search for slaves. I like slaves, slaves are useful, I need useful people in my life; I can lead, teach, train, and love slaves; slaves need someone who can do these things. All of which add up to: my life and the life of whatever slave I own will be better, since we will be giving each other things we need in life.If I just wanted someone to beat, tie up, kick, have sex with, or any of that .. pfft .. that's easy to get!

12/21/2010 3:25:53 PM

I will tell you something about slaves, slavery, and husbandry, slave: See, too many of you think that if a woman owns a slave that means she has to provide for his sexual service with her own body. Well, honey, that is just not how it usually went, per the history books, and that is not how it goes here.If I fall in love with a man, and he is in love with me, we will be married and I'll do things to him that will make his toes curl, because, yes, I do love sex, very, very much.But, slaves are not lovers, friends, or husbands. They are also not animals. They are something else, altogether.Because they are workers, like the animals, they must be taken care of, and that includes taking care of their sexual needs, if those needs are getting in the way of their being able to work, or getting the owner down with all the mopey behavior.Because they are human, like the owner, they will not simply be castrated like an animal might be. They might be left out in the field to rut, if the owner feels it is appropriate, though.I do not feel that is appropriate. I do, however, feel that the long standing traditions of marrying slaves to other slaves, or the slave having a free born spouse who knows that the slave will be serving and only has time to give them when the work is done, is perfectly reasonable as a solution to the dilemma of slaves who cannot control their sexual appetites.It was common practice, in 19th century slavery, for an owner to pair two slaves who were already on the same plantation, for the sake of the slaves breeding. Or, the owner might have gone to buy a slave for the slave he already owned to marry and breed with. Or, sometimes, they would simply seek out other owners who had slaves, and make agreements that the male and female slaves would be married to each other, with the owners of the female slaves keeping the babies.Now, I don't want to go that far! I have no interest in enslaving children or anyone who is not capable of making a firm decision that they wish to serve me. So, don't even start asking questions about that.It was less common, but, still, a perfectly acceptable practice, to allow slaves, either on the same plantation as each other or on different ones, to marry for love. Often, their owners provided them with a home separate from other slaves for the purpose of having the comfort of family, hearth and home, such as there could be comfort in their situation. If the slaves were on different plantations and fell in love, sometimes their owners would arrange to buy the other slave, because, they wanted their slaves to be happy and productive people.So, don't come at me with a lot of gobblety-gook as to how I must milk you, sit on your face, allow you to lick or suck anything, or etc. and try to rationalize that it is what makes consensual slavery into true slavery.Uh uh, honey! If you are truly a slave, you will jump when I say jump; you will dance when I say dance; you will work when I tell you to work; and, you will be allowed to marry (or ordered to marry) whom I choose to allow you to marry. But, my body is my own and I am no one's slave, so I don't have to do you!So, keep that in mind. No, I am not going to force you to marry a slave girl or anyone else that doesn't strike your fancy, slave boy. That's not what I mean, because I am not that sort of person. Just saying, if you need sex, romance, etc. I may help you get it, but, I don't have to provide it from my own body.IF you want to be this sort of slave, write 'gerbil frumpkin' into a message and send it to me.

12/21/2010 2:51:32 PM

If you do not want pain, then do not seek an owner who will want to give it to you. That is my advice to you. Me, personally, yes, I can give pain, but, I do not get turned on by the idea of torturing people. If I was going to whip someone, they would have earned it by their own bad behavior and it would have been seriously bad behavior. Or, perhaps, at first, I might give them a whipping, just to put them in mind of the fact that I can and will do so, so that when I tell them what not to do if they do not wish to experience it, they will have a clear understandng. Perhaps. In truth, I would just as soon have slaves who did their work well, were polite and never needed correction at all. Some I have known have come darned close to that, so I know it is possible. Unfortunately, most of them WANT to be treated badly.

12/21/2010 2:48:33 PM

'For sure, I could work and bring home the cash, but then there are even better slaves than me out there. My qualities comes from the need of serve, the need to please. I will turn myself inside out to know that I have brought pleasure to my Owner with no thoughts of myself. ' Absolutely beautiful! I keep trying to explain this to potential slaves, that the most important thing for a slave to have is the willingness to serve. Mind you, I haven't the resources to accept slaves who do not work  for wages BUT they seem to think that if they can offer some exhorbitant sum per week that means they are the better slave and they can play tradesies, getting me to change my hard limits for hard cash. Whereas they look down on slaves who, yes, make significantly less money, but, who think of the person they are hoping to serve, listen to them, help them do things, etc.  The best slave I've come across on this site is not relocatable, has no money to spare,and is making me no offers to serve me, because we both know that we do not have enough nickles to rub together to make a bus ticket appear or anything. However, he knew I was tired, one night, and swamped with work, and, instead of demanding my attention as the other 'slaves' were doing, he asked me to allow him to help with the typing. He did help, too, quite a bit, even though I had to take time to train him.  And, that is why he is the best slave - he's proven he is polite, thoughtful, trainable to task, with no need to be 'broken' into slavery. He wants to be that way, and so he is. Thank you for the inspirational words.Persons who want to be considered as a slave (for me) should send me a message, now, that says 'Pooter-based twinkie dogs' at the beginning of it.