(sigh)

11/25/2010 10:23:41 AM

The slave, mentioned below, who told me that he belonged to me, has just been told, by me, that he blew his last chance for my attention. After much ignoring of me (in that he, sometimes, read messages, but, he did not reply to them), he finally messaged me and told me he needs time to step back and decide if this is really what he wants. Which I find excessively odd, since he has been on this site rather a long time, and he has pursued a relationship with me more than once and cried off claiming fear, then, it was he who came to me, again, and told me that he was sure this time - both that he wanted this and that it was with me that he wanted it. And, now, we are back to waffling? Really? Well, I gave him some very light orders to follow, while he was thinking. Nothing involving money, very little involving time, just a little something that would help his thinking and give me reason to believe he was at all serious. I told him he could start by acknowledging that he got that email. He read it yesterday evening. I know that because I checked to see if he had read it this morning, not because he wrote to me and told me he read it. So, no acknowledgement of its receipt by him and no following of the ever so mild orders within. Therefore, today, I told him that those orders had been his last chance. As in, I am done. I will not be writing to him, I will not be considering him. I told him if he ever wants me to believe him again,he will have to do something quite big, quite impressive, to capture my attention and prove that he is actually serious. Otherwise, he needs to stop wasting my time. To be fair, he is no worse than many others, who also do much the same. There are so many men, here, who waffle on the edge of slavery, never stepping in, never shuffling off to whatever it is that does not frighten them, but, standing there, calling for attention, wasting the time of persons who stand in its reality. Well, men: as long as you live your life being afraid to take what you want, even when it is offered to you directly, you are going to be very bored, possibly very miserable, people. And, yes, I can say this is mostly about men, not just because I am seeking men, but, because most of the real slaves I have ever known have been women. They are able to make that level of commitment, with it actually being what they say it is, instead of pretending they are bargain shopping for the best curves for the least price- as if that is what slavery is, ultimately, about! There is another slave who is, currently, engaged in the same thing. That is, he is engaged in consideration of if to serve me or not. He has not approached me numerous times, beforehand, so it is not the same situation. However, it feels like it is leading into it. So, I told him, today, of a point in time at which he has to have decided, at least, whether or not he will be serving me. I mean, if you know what you are, what you want, and, that this other person is real and claiming to want the counterpart of that, you should be able to decide, fairly quickly, if they are the person for you or not. Especially when they are not asking you to immediately sign over your finances or etc. Will he decide? I don't know. What will he decide, if anything? I haven't a clue. All I know is that I have spent far too long on this site, with having almost zero results, although I usually hear from several slaves a day who claim to want to serve me as I wish to be served. (sigh). Something has to give!  It's exhausting me, and, all this rejection over trivial details is not kind to one's ego. 'Oh, yes, Mistress, you are everything I want, and none of the other Mistresses have ever offered me anything close. Only, may I have a butt plug, too?' 'No, slave, you may not. I'm not into that.' That's usually when the cussing starts. It is always when the leaving occurs. Mistress will not cater to his every whim, Mistress will not tart herself up like a whore for his amusement. Therefore, Mistress is not real. (sigh) Where are the real slaves?