Vanilla

Vanilla: Two definitions.

I have been thinking, again, about this term vanilla, and how many people use it to so disparagingy, when, mostly, it is not a bad thing; and, when, mostly, they are engaged in the seeking out of the bits of it that are the worst. Which has led me to considering the whys and wherefores of that, and deciding that, really, there are two different definitions of vanilla, to my mind.

Because, you know, the world was fairly well always 'vanilla', being ever so shocked by things that would fall under bdsm, and, yet, the world, while being 'vanilla' created stocks, pillories, gibbets, chains, slavery, numerous torture devices, whores, bondage of the mind, bondage of the body, and bondage of the soul. Whips were used on numerous people, for varying reasons, human flesh was eaten, and bestiality occurred. Therefore, 'vanilla' and 'boring' are not synonymous.

Vanilla does not mean 'an absence of whips' or 'an absence of slavery'or there never would have been slaves that were whipped. It does not even mean 'an absence of sexual slavery' since the American slaves were bred with their master and with other slaves of different ethnicities to make better stock, some of them were kept in what amounted to whore houses, and a good lot of them were whipped. Obviously, the Romans were big on using slaves in a sexual manner, at various ponts of history, and were not adverse to forcing them to torture and kill each other for amusement. But, none of them subscribed to bdsm, as it was not a lifestyle, so they just went about being 'vanilla'.

If that is not what is meant by 'vanilla', then, what is meant? And, how come, sometimes, that is exactly what vanilla is used to describe? Back to the two definition theory.

Vanilla 1: This one is a definition of vanilla, as it is meant by people who say such things as 'BDSM is not about sex', I do believe; because, they are looking for something beyond that common, nasty, vanilla slavery, where people are treated like bodies and used as mere flesh, without their owner ever entering into their feelings, thoughts, needs, desires, or engaging in a real relationship with them.  Vanilla1 is a very depressing state of ignorance of the spiritual aspects of ownership. Vanilla 1 people torture your body because they like to hurt others and are nasty. They do not look on it as giving, sharing, teaching, and if they become sexually excited by their actions it is not excitement with and towards their 'victim' because it is not consensual, and their victim really is a victim, who is not at all happy to be there. Vanilla 1 people do not think of others, and are out for their own selfish needs.

Vanilla 1 people, in fact, make up the majority of people in BDSM, because, try as you might to keep the buggers out, they will infiltrate your space, and they will try to twist your life to fit their needs. So that all of a sudden, bdsm is all about the fulfillment of their selfish desires, playing here and there instead of intensely intimate relationships, abuse and degradation for the sake of the abuse and degradation rather than as a means of learning humility.

I mean, let's face it: If anyone tells you they are your Master, or your Mistress, and that they are going to make you a better and happier person by taking everything you own, then shitting in your mouth, and you believe them, you are an extremely Vanilla 1 couple. You like to be abused and oppressed and will do anything to get it, and they want your money and to laugh at you for having shit stains on your teeth, and they don't care how they have to humiliate themselves to get that, either.

I wish all the Vanilla 1 people would go away, as they are truly clogging up the works for those of us who desire true contact between persons, not just contact of flesh and the purchase of bright, shiny objects.

How do you tell a Vanilla 1 person? Well, if you meet a man who is married, who says that he wants to fulfill a woman's every desire, but, cannot get along with his wife as her desires are not interesting to him, you have met one. If he was a Vanilla 2 person, he would seek to fulfill her desires, and the fulfillment of them would be his desire. Instead, he is seflishly taking away from her and giving to someone else, in order to get what he wants.
Vanilla 2: Most highly despised by Vanilla 1 people; this is because Vanilla 2 people are the base from which everything good and interesting is made. Vanilla 2 people want to commune with your soul, they are lovers, they enjoy walking in the park and holding your hand; they can love you, with or without whipping you, with or without you whipping them, and writhe with joy over the happiness that their seeking to fulfill you has brought you both.

Vanilla 2 people may have fetishes, they may have preferences, but, they are willing to explore yours, too, so long as there is no damage being caused to the spirit of the persons involved. They have limits, they respect your limits. In fact, they respect most everything.
Vanilla 2 people do not seek to bring discomfort to the world, but, they seek to find their own happiness intermingled with the happiness of others.

These are people who want to own slaves, or be owned, as an expression of something more than just flesh that is controlled.  These are the people who can 'TPE' you into sheer dizziness with a glance. Yes, they may also engage in some of the same activities as Vanilla 1 people, but, the reasons for doing so are vastly different, at least on most days.

How do you tell a Vanilla 2 person? Well, I suppose the easiest way is that their profiles are not full of how wonderful they are, and either is their conversation. They have conversation, they care about what you think and feel. They never burst into your inbox with 'Submit to me now' unless it is followed by a chuckle and in response to your journal entry over how so many idiots have done so. In other words, they are willing to engage you in mind, body, and spirit.

This is not boring vanilla, even though it is often law abiding. This is sweet, tasty, hard to get, high quality vanilla that makes you long for it and want to taste it over and over. And, yes, sometimes, sprinkle it with something a little darker, or nuttier, or spicier, but, to always, always, have it on your tongue and deep inside you.