“To think of it. A mere chit of a girl with the arrogance not only to defy a god in refusing to do as she is bid, but, to openly order him to do her bidding, instead!”
“I wasn't ordering you. I was making a suggestion ..”, she paused under his baleful gaze before continuing, “.. It was just talk,that's all.”
“And, am I here for you to chit chat with? Is that my function? Are the gods born to be your prattle partners? Mere nothings, such as yourself, do not speak freely with gods.”
“We have a God, who allows us to speak to Him quite freely.”
“Oh, really? Must be a weakling, if so.” Chaos laughed. “A real god wouldn't kowtow to his subjects.”
“And, yet, when I pray to him, I defeat you.” she replied.
“What? You .. DEFEAT me? When has this occurred? Am I not still here?Did you vanquish me, end my life, without my noticing?”
“No.”
“Then, how so defeated?”
“Well, I ..”
“Is it not true that I find you, always? Corner and catch you at every turn?”
“Is it not true that I escape?”
“So?”
“So, I pray to Him and I escape your clutches. He is a more powerful god than thou.”
“Yet, he does not end your suffering, does not end me? As I said, he must be a weakling, to let me play cat and mouse with his subject and never prevail against me.”
“Yet, I pray to him and you do not prevail. I, a mere nothing as you call me, escape, time and time again. Has it never occurred to you that it is you who are his play toy?”
“Me? A play toy? I am a god.”
“Yes, you are a god. One of many. More powerful than I, but, insignificant in your ranks. And, time and time again, you are bested, to prove it. Learn your lessons, Chaos. Your time is nearing its end.”
Fuming, he turned away, and, striding across the leaf strewn clearing, entering into the woods improper, he put an end to their conversation. Or, he would have, if he had strode faster or jumped into a nearby portal, or, perhaps, donned some ear plugs. Unfortunately for him, he did none of these things and the girl was on him like stink on cheese.
“Don't you walk away from me, you filth-mongering excuse for a god.” she yelled, but, with quotation fingers emphasizing how she was only calling him a god, but, didn't really believe it. “Stand and fight like a man.”
“I am not a man!” he hissed. “And, I shall now sit and muse like an aardvark.” So saying, he plopped himself down on the ground and began to muse.
“*sigh*”, Angela replied. “Can't you do anything normal?”
There was no reply, except for a brief glance up toward the night sky and a sudden leap to his feet. Then, with dainty menace, he sauntered closer to her, towering over here and leaning his face close to hers. “Oh, it's normal you wish for, is it?” he asked in a way that made normal sound like something one might prefer being splashed with drain cleaner over.
“I want you to do something normal, yes.” she replied, all the same.
“Like what, pray tell? Shall I sit in my din of football, ignoring you, while you cook some meat laden treats for my friends? Would that satisfy your taste for normalcy?”
His tone of voice was such that Angela could not be quite sure if Chaos were sneering at her or making a legitimate offer. Therefore, not knowing which to answer, she chose not to answer at all.
Standing before her, considering her, his eyes suddenly lit up with mirth. “Oh, my. Normal!” he sniggered. “Normal. What a thing of beauty it is.”
“What are you on about now?” she sighed.
“Normal, normalcy, cliches.”
“Okay?”
“Cliches are so much funner than stereotypes, don't you think? Though, in a way, they are the same thing. One expects stereotypical behavior in certain situations, doesn't one? Even certain weather conditions.”
“I .. suppose.”
“Well, then, let me do something normal for you, my dear.” he offered, openly guffawing at his own cleverness. “Oh poor powerless me, that I am. Do you think I have it in me?”
“To do something normal? I cannot say.”
“Oh, but, yes you can say. You have a mouth, brain, vocal cords, and I've heard you use them all before now.” he argued. “You can say quite a lot.”
And, then, the fight started, anew. She called him a charlatan and an abuser of feminine virtues. He called her a whore-faced harpy from the nether regions of Goomjer Downs. She asserted her belief that he had no real power and he asserted his belief that no one could possibly believe that, unless they spent their life with their head up their own backside. Other things were talked of, other insults hurled, some more sensical, to be sure, than what is reported here, but, none quite so entertaining.
As they argued, she pulled her cloak tighter against her. The night was growing cold, darkness surrounded them, and, the wolves howling in the distance did nothing to ease her nerves.
“It was a dark night...” he said, plopping back down to the ground to muse. “Dark, with wolves.” He sensed something was missing, but, what? Then, it struck him. “Of course!” he exclaimed with glee. “This night is not cliché enough. We need this!”
So saying, he reached up with his hand, toward the sky and snapped his fingers, splitting the sky in twain and beginning the deluge. Lightening sparked and sizzled across the sky, rain poured down, clouds rolled in and thunder rumbled as if a hungry belly seeking to eat the world.
“Now, that's normal!” Chaos shouted through the downpour at the gawping girl. “Now, it is a dark, stormy night. Are you happy, yet?”
Angela was not happy, she was not sad, she was simply out cold, having fainted from a combination of exhaustion and the realization that this person she had been insulting for so long could, and might still, do some spectacularly brutal things to her in reprisal.
Seeing her fall over, Chaos was a little alarmed and had considered checking her vitals, but, realized he had no idea what vitals really were, what they were supposed to be like, or how to fix them if they'd gone on the blink. So, not having anything better to do, he allowed himself to also fall to the ground insensible, and thoroughly enjoyed his first ever rain nap.
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