Saturday, September 10, 2011

PurelySelfishMe


BBW, with over 20 years experience in slave handling, is now accepting applications for full time or part time live-out service/play slaves. Mutually advantageous situations will be considered. There is potential to become live-in later.

Applicants for this relationship must be:*gainfully employed or otherwise possessed of at least moderate income.*tolerant of others* unashamed of others knowing what you are to me (in select circles)* demonstrative of a desire to serve.*Capable of and willing to be worked hard, used for my amusement, used financially, played with in whatever way I see fit, following my rules and protocols.*demonstrative of the understand that I am neither asking for nor offering sex, but, I am offering to allow you to serve me, please me, and, to be defined and altered through me, as I redefine and alter my life through the use of you.
If your true desire is to SERVE, you will not make it contingent on the fulfillment of sex or some nasty little fetish. I will, of course, listen to all reasonable BDSM or vanilla limits, needs and concerns, such as family and health issues, keeping knowledge from co-workers, things you really never want to do, etc.

If you are interested, respond with a thoughtful message, which includes a list of skills, interests and experience, an explanation of finances as they would pertain to me, whether you wish this to be live-in or something else, and, if you do want it to be live-in, what concerns you have which might affect that, such as, children, dogs, furniture, needing to wait until your lease is up (don't bug me if you have more than a month to go, though), etc.
Be honest, polite, thoughtful, gentlemanly and kind, and, perhaps we shall be meeting soon and embarking on a journey, of sorts, together



Journal Entries:

9/9/2011 10:20:31 AM [Report Entry]
The short version of what is directly below, by intent, is this:
BDSM is about honestly living with your true nature and values, working toward the achievement of having a comfortable life that you enjoy living in. Anything that you can fit into your life which works toward  this goal, can be part of your BDSM lifestyle. For BDSM is not the negation of anything, except dishonesty.
If you are Christian, you can live a BDSM lifestyle, by following your Christian values as they are taught by your Master Jesus, and, only allowing those elements in life which support those values in through your front door. If you can do that while caging someone or being caged, and it is something you want to do, then do it. If being caged or caging someone fills you with dark desires, makes you want to do things Jesus does not approve of, and you act upon that, rather than exhibiting self control, you are proving false to your Master, to Christianity at large, to the principles of BDSM, and to yourself.
That is my viewpoint, in a nutshell. 


9/9/2011 10:06:10 AM [Report Entry]
Bear with me and I shall attempt to explain to you what BDSM is to me, without attempting to define it for the rest of the world. To explain what it is, first, I will have to tell you what it is not:
BDSM is not sex, torture, abuse, fetish play, lying, cheating, stealing, playing mind games with people, or looking down on others as being less human, simply because they are different sorts of people. It is not intolerance, anger, lack of self control, greed, tyranny or acting the spoiled git.
Well, then, what's left? Don't go away, yet. Stifle your yawns a while longer, and, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised.
BDSM is about two basic ideals. The first, most important ideal is this: It is absolutely all right to use deviant methods to attain a desired goal.
In further explanation, let us consider my weight. Or, perhaps not specifically mine, but, those who need to lose fat, gain muscle, stop the filthy habit of overeating, gain health, etc. First of all, as you may note, I mentioned several factors, that all have some bearing on the one issue, because:

  • Some people are well-muscled, naturally or through exercise but are still too fat.
  • There are people who really are gluttonous, and are, indeed, fat from overeating
  • Others may truly have specific health or emotional issues to overcome.
  • And, it could be that all these things, or a combination of them, is true for the individual. 
We are not all the same, we do not all have the same resources, or the same past, and, we do not necessarily need the same structure, instructions, foods, exercises, or motivators to get us to the desired goal of being at, and maintaining, a healthy weight. 
Now, a person who is vanilla, not making progress toward this goal might joke that they need someone to slap their hand, or someone to handcuff them to the bed, or someone to put a lock on their refrigerator and monitor what they eat, or, force them to exercise, or that they only way they will ever be able to stay away from Twinkies long enough to do the detoxification process they need to go through is if someone locked them up on a cage or shed and brought them nothing but the pills they should be taking, water, and vegetables. 
They may joke, they may even want it, but, they will never seek it out and do it, because, it is not "normal", it  is "crazy" in the eyes of society, and, while it might help accomplish their goal, it would just be weird and therefore undesirable. To them, how they are perceived is more important than need or result.
Someone who is into BDSM might say "I need someone to lock me in a cage for a week, and, only bring me water, vegetables and the pills I need." and, once they realize it is a viable method of receiving help they need, may go out and seek the person who will help them in this way. They will not choose just anyone, they will make sure things are properly monitored, unless they are idiots, but, "Oh, that's too weird!" is not a determining factor in deciding whether or not to do it. 
The questions BDSM people ask themselves in that sort of situation are not "What does it say about me?" or "What would the neighbors think?", but, "is it possible to do safely?" and "Is it otherwise feasible?" and "Is this the best choice?"  
Yes, of course, they still would like not to freak out their neighbors, but, that's what proper precautions, such as telling the neighbor they are going on vacation, or, closing their curtains is about. 
And, if the neighbors do find out? Well, it might be a little embarrassing, for their sake, but, the end justifies the means, and, there is nothing wrong with the means used. The means are safe, sane and consensual, and, they bring good results. That is what is important.
That's why "Safe, sane and consensual" is the phrase to remember, as those are the only factors which should determine your actions, in the world of BDSM. Now, what is safe is relative. "Safe" is not just about the physical aspects, such as if you can trust the person who holds the key to the cage, but, it is about the spiritual aspects, and the social aspects. 
So, can you trust the person who is holding the key to bring the food and water, let you out to use the restroom or otherwise help you deal with issues relating to proper sanitation? Yes? Great! 
Now, can you trust them, since you are a good, law abiding and/or religious type in this scenario, not to use their control of the food and water to coerce you to perform obscene acts? Super! 
Now, can you trust them not to answer your phone, thereby accidentally cluing your boss and family members in to the fact that you are home, which will lead up to the embarrassing situation of your door being broken down by fireman, your helper arrested, and your name and pictures of you in the cage splashed across the front of the local newspaper, above an article hinting at a depraved sex scandal?  Great! 
Now, can you trust them not to take photos and attempt to blackmail you later, or, at least, are you the sort of person who can laugh off such attempts? Lovely!
Now, can you trust them not to leave you alone in the cage, while they go off to work for hours on end, where you could not escape if a fire broke out? And, do you have reason to believe that they are healthy enough not to die from the sheer excitement of you being in a cage? Do you have a back up person, who will check in from time to time? Then, probably, all those things being yes, you will be safe. 
But, you see, safety is not just "Will it tear a ligament.".  Many persons have a fetish for the idea of being caged, chained, rolled in plastic wrap and left under furniture, and left in place while the other goes off for work, and, they think the safety is all about "Can I trust this person not to kill me?" which is part of it, indeed, but, the phrases such as "accidental fire"  or "surprise earthquake", or "unexpected flooding" exist for a reason. 
One needs reasonable plans for the safety of the person who is bound, and, also, for the person who has them bound  on their property as well; because, if a fire breaks out and someone finds your lover caged up and crispy, they aren't going to shrug and say "Oh, it was just two people being kinky." 
Hence why contracts, video taped proof kept in other locations, witnesses, and people who can go and rescue your lover if you are at work and a fire breaks out, are vitally important for your safety, as well. Not to mention that, emotionally, you would be on very unsafe grounds, if that should happen.
The words in the phrase, "safe, sane and consensual", then, work well together and say much about how BDSM should be incorporated into one's total life. 
BDSM is not about rebelling against society for the sake of rebelling; or, doing unsafe things; or, about committing spontaneous acts of weirdness. 
BDSM is about planning, self control, seeing the total picture, understanding needs and choosing to use divergent methods to fulfill those needs, if divergent methods are needed. 
"I need a maid. I cannot afford a maid. I think I'll find me a slave, then." 
"I need motivation to exercise. I think I'll find me a friend with a home gym, who'd like to whip me for failing to workout."
"I really have trouble with overspending. I think I'll find me a nice dominant who will take control of my finances and make a contract with them, that they will definitely make sure my bills are paid, as long as my finances cover it, but, where they will not let me spend the rest on crap. I would get an accountant, but, I can't afford one, so ... yes, a Dom will do."
The other ideal, while similar, is more related strictly to pleasure. If it feels good, if it is safe, sane and consensual, then there is no reason not to do it. However, as I have pointed out above, what is safe depends on many factors; it is not just about physically living through the experience. 
So, is it physically safe for now? Is there little to no possibility that it might cause a horrible condition, syndrome, result in death, involve the catching of a horrible bacterial or viral infection? Are precautions taken to prevent possible HIV infections? Are there precautions in place, to make sure of your quick and easy release if an earthquake or home invasion suddenly attack? 
Are you sure you won't regret it, later? Are you sure it will not interfere with your relationship with God, your family, or anyone else who is important enough that you need them in your life? If the answer to all those questions in a resounding yes - not a cautious, timid yes, but a resounding yes - then, you are probably going to be safe. 
Remember, BDSM is not sneaking around behind the back of your loved ones, anymore than it is about confronting them with information they do not need to know, which might do them harm. So, if you are a married man, who made vows to his wife, then selfishly sneaking around and having sex with other women is not safe. It helps destroy your marriage. 
But, it might be true that sneaking around behind your wife's back and getting whipped by another woman, who you are not engaging in sex with, to release your tension, so that you can feel more yourself, etc. is safe, because, maybe it will make you a healthier, happier person and maybe you will, thusly, be a better husband. But, maybe it is only safe and better for your marriage if you don't tell your wife, because, she would not understand and you know that about her. 
However, when it comes to God, there is no sneaking around behind His back, so part of "safe" is to not do anything that will draw you away from Him, or, make Him turn his face away in disgust. If you do not love Him, this will not matter to you. If you do love Him, you will want to factor this into your considerations regarding what is safe for you to do.
Now, again, a vanilla person may want to experience something different, like being whipped, but, they won't try it. Or, if they do try it, they will try it in a childish, "Oh, isn't this all too weird!" manner and quickly move back to their comfort zone.
 Or, if they are unfortunate enough to try it with a serious, seasoned BDSM person, they may be traumatized. In fact, so might the BDSM person, who had no idea that the person who begged and begged to be whipped hard, really meant "lightly touched with corded leather, in a purely playful manner." Which is why part of being safe is making sure the other person is sane, and, that it is truly consensual activity.
A BDSM person, desiring to be whipped, does not, as the vanilla person might, think "Oh, that is just too weird. It sounds like fun, but, no, I could never .. what would people think?" They think, until they have knowledge to answer such questions, things more like "How can I? Where can I find someone I can trust? " 
It is still all about the difference between worry about what society thinks outweighing the benefits, to the vanilla person, and, the end justifying the means, to the BDSM person.
Now, how this relates to me, specifically is this: 
I have very little time for bullshite. Things need to change in my life, in many ways. I am working toward certain goals. I am only interested in people entering my life who can help me in my journey. BUT: 
I am not really purely selfish. What I am is motivated to finding the means that reach the end, in a safe, sane and consensual manner, which fits into my total life. Therefore:
While I like money and shopping and such things would make my life better, I am not going to whore myself out. I will not compromise my integrity, my spiritual safety, my family life, etc. for the sake of attaining money or gifts. 
If I did that, I might, indeed, attain the end result that was desired, of, say, getting a new brown leather sofa. But, I would lose the desired end result of having self respect, being a person of integrity, making new friends, being closer to God, making my house a home, and so much more. 
So, to act in a manner that would make me feel like a whore would not be a means that would justify the total end result. Therefore, it is not safe, it is not sane, and, as I do not want it, it is not consensual.
I will gladly trade sessions that are non-sexual in nature, to achieve a goal; I will gladly help train people in basic BDSM protocols, positions; I will help them achieve their goal of weight loss or a cleaner house; or, I will date a gentleman who likes to be generous who I truly like as a person and feel there is a chance with, of it being more than just dating later, while seeking to attain my goals; but, I will not cyber with you, I will not perform illegal activities; I will not blackmail you; and, I will not help you cheat on your wife in some manner that I would not put up with from my own husband. 
To me, BDSM is all about the means justifying the end, not the end justifying the means.  


9/6/2011 12:04:43 PM [Report Entry]
People need to get over this one issue. I am not looking to live with you or fall in love with you. I want fun! I want to be sort of like your Mistress Mistress, the girl on the side, who does wild and terrible things to you, demands to be pampered and splurged upon, who you dream about when you go back to your normal life.


9/6/2011 11:49:33 AM [Report Entry]
Saw this on the profile of a submissive, who is very beautiful of face but unfortunately very far away and into things I am not into (sigh), and, I find it so well written, so intelligent, that I share it with you here. There is a reference to an article which inspired it, which was from the point of view of the dominant, but, unfortunately, the link only takes one to GoDaddy.com, where one can purchase the domain name. Still, as they say, the needs, on either side of the coin are much the same, so I hope you read it, both for the sake of your own point of view, and, of understanding those on the other side of the coin.
http://maybemaimed.com/2009/02/27/8-things-submissive-men-want-from-a-dominant-partner/


9/6/2011 10:32:52 AM [Report Entry]

Hmm .. unsolicited opinion .. of a man who begged to be owned by me, before, and, was turned down.
Dated:  9/6/11 10:19 AM

i am real slave seeking but you are to damm ugly dear sorry

My reply to him:
You should talk. lol  Anyone who thinks I'm "damned ugly" only shows what an idiot he is, as he is unable to discern the difference between someone who is poor but beautiful and someone who has all the money she needs to take care of her health, purchase makeup, etc. and still comes off looking like someone who isn't well groomed or well made up. You look at a woman who is overweight and who is not wearing makeup, and ,you call her ugly. But, you don't look at the eyes, what's in them, the bone structure, the silkiness of the flesh, etc.  You are an idiot. I don't wish to own idiots. And, you are not an attractive man, so there is no way you deserve a woman as beautiful as I am.


For future reference, to all you "real slaves", a real slave doesn't choose to serve solely based on looks, in the first place. And, when it does choose to serve the one who it views as capable of leading in the way it wishes to follow - which is what it should be doing when it has the choice to choose - it doesn't suddenly learn the art of humbleness. Slaves already possess humbleness, or, they are not real slaves.


What this man - this very old, boring, unkempt man who lives in an RV down by a river and doesn't make enough money to  be so delusional as to think it is going to make up for either his looks or his rude little un-slave-like attitude-messaged me is not anything like what a real slave would say or do. For one thing, no one was offering to allow him to serve, so he had no business voicing his objection to it. If I had asked him if he wanted to serve me, and he didn't, that would have been a fine time to politely tell me he does not wish to serve me. However, it was not done in a remotely polite fashion, and, it was entirely unsolicited opinion, not response.

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