Journal Entries for mistressarletta: Pt. 3

12/21/2010 11:05:02 PM Here's the basic facts of life: If you have to be forced to do something, and you want to enter into a relationship where you are being forced to perform tasks, give money, or whatever, then you are not acting as a slave or as a submissive. You are acting as a Top, who enjoys being forced to do things, and who will mete out rewards to those who kowtow to him by beating him just as he wants to be beaten, etc. If I have to force you to submit, it means nothing. It is a lie.If you want to give, if you want to be accepted and tempered, kept safe, so you have a focus for that giving and someone to tell you that they are pleased, that this is enough, if you are looking for that home for body, mind, and soul, and you willingly give to me, then, it means everything. If you cannot understand this .. I don't even know what to say to you, anymore. I know the pain of wanting to 'do for' other people, the thrill  of helping them with their groceries or cleaning their home, and the pain of being laughed at for doing these things, or being accused of doing it because you have some ulterior motive. For people who feel like that, having an owner, someone they can trust to accept their gifts  and help them to know what to do, is a blessing. It is not being used, being taken advantage of. It is being understood.If you even might be interested in being my slave, you should write 'kumquat techtonics' at me, in a message, so I know you are reading my journal entries.

12/21/2010 5:15:54 PM I am not cruel!  I am pragmaticCruel: Disposed to inflict pain or suffering. Yes, 'able' is also part of some definitions, but, when they say 'able' they still mean 'disposed to'. I am not disposed to inflict pain or suffering. I do not wake up in the morning and say 'My, oh my, how fun my day will be, because I have small children to kick, grown men to make bleed, and if I can I shall make that puppy cry.' I am not that person.Pragmatic: Dealing or concerned with facts or actual occurrences; practical.I am practical. If you need to be beaten, you will be. If you need to be put in the corner, tied up, forced to make recompense, tossed out on your ear you will be. If there is a practical solution that is less violent, less disruptive that will produce a desired result, it will be utilized. It is pragmatism that leads me to a search for slaves. I like slaves, slaves are useful, I need useful people in my life; I can lead, teach, train, and love slaves; slaves need someone who can do these things. All of which add up to: my life and the life of whatever slave I own will be better, since we will be giving each other things we need in life.If I just wanted someone to beat, tie up, kick, have sex with, or any of that .. pfft .. that's easy to get!

12/21/2010 3:25:53 PM I will tell you something about slaves, slavery, and husbandry, slave: See, too many of you think that if a woman owns a slave that means she has to provide for his sexual service with her own body. Well, honey, that is just not how it usually went, per the history books, and that is not how it goes here.If I fall in love with a man, and he is in love with me, we will be married and I'll do things to him that will make his toes curl, because, yes, I do love sex, very, very much.But, slaves are not lovers, friends, or husbands. They are also not animals. They are something else, altogether.Because they are workers, like the animals, they must be taken care of, and that includes taking care of their sexual needs, if those needs are getting in the way of their being able to work, or getting the owner down with all the mopey behavior.Because they are human, like the owner, they will not simply be castrated like an animal might be. They might be left out in the field to rut, if the owner feels it is appropriate, though.I do not feel that is appropriate. I do, however, feel that the long standing traditions of marrying slaves to other slaves, or the slave having a free born spouse who knows that the slave will be serving and only has time to give them when the work is done, is perfectly reasonable as a solution to the dilemma of slaves who cannot control their sexual appetites.It was common practice, in 19th century slavery, for an owner to pair two slaves who were already on the same plantation, for the sake of the slaves breeding. Or, the owner might have gone to buy a slave for the slave he already owned to marry and breed with. Or, sometimes, they would simply seek out other owners who had slaves, and make agreements that the male and female slaves would be married to each other, with the owners of the female slaves keeping the babies.Now, I don't want to go that far! I have no interest in enslaving children or anyone who is not capable of making a firm decision that they wish to serve me. So, don't even start asking questions about that.It was less common, but, still, a perfectly acceptable practice, to allow slaves, either on the same plantation as each other or on different ones, to marry for love. Often, their owners provided them with a home separate from other slaves for the purpose of having the comfort of family, hearth and home, such as there could be comfort in their situation. If the slaves were on different plantations and fell in love, sometimes their owners would arrange to buy the other slave, because, they wanted their slaves to be happy and productive people.So, don't come at me with a lot of gobblety-gook as to how I must milk you, sit on your face, allow you to lick or suck anything, or etc. and try to rationalize that it is what makes consensual slavery into true slavery.Uh uh, honey! If you are truly a slave, you will jump when I say jump; you will dance when I say dance; you will work when I tell you to work; and, you will be allowed to marry (or ordered to marry) whom I choose to allow you to marry. But, my body is my own and I am no one's slave, so I don't have to do you!So, keep that in mind. No, I am not going to force you to marry a slave girl or anyone else that doesn't strike your fancy, slave boy. That's not what I mean, because I am not that sort of person. Just saying, if you need sex, romance, etc. I may help you get it, but, I don't have to provide it from my own body.IF you want to be this sort of slave, write 'gerbil frumpkin' into a message and send it to me.

12/21/2010 2:51:32 PM If you do not want pain, then do not seek an owner who will want to give it to you. That is my advice to you. Me, personally, yes, I can give pain, but, I do not get turned on by the idea of torturing people. If I was going to whip someone, they would have earned it by their own bad behavior and it would have been seriously bad behavior. Or, perhaps, at first, I might give them a whipping, just to put them in mind of the fact that I can and will do so, so that when I tell them what not to do if they do not wish to experience it, they will have a clear understandng. Perhaps. In truth, I would just as soon have slaves who did their work well, were polite and never needed correction at all. Some I have known have come darned close to that, so I know it is possible. Unfortunately, most of them WANT to be treated badly.

12/21/2010 2:48:33 PM 'For sure, I could work and bring home the cash, but then there are even better slaves than me out there. My qualities comes from the need of serve, the need to please. I will turn myself inside out to know that I have brought pleasure to my Owner with no thoughts of myself. ' Absolutely beautiful! I keep trying to explain this to potential slaves, that the most important thing for a slave to have is the willingness to serve. Mind you, I haven't the resources to accept slaves who do not work  for wages BUT they seem to think that if they can offer some exhorbitant sum per week that means they are the better slave and they can play tradesies, getting me to change my hard limits for hard cash. Whereas they look down on slaves who, yes, make significantly less money, but, who think of the person they are hoping to serve, listen to them, help them do things, etc.  The best slave I've come across on this site is not relocatable, has no money to spare,and is making me no offers to serve me, because we both know that we do not have enough nickles to rub together to make a bus ticket appear or anything. However, he knew I was tired, one night, and swamped with work, and, instead of demanding my attention as the other 'slaves' were doing, he asked me to allow him to help with the typing. He did help, too, quite a bit, even though I had to take time to train him.  And, that is why he is the best slave - he's proven he is polite, thoughtful, trainable to task, with no need to be 'broken' into slavery. He wants to be that way, and so he is. Thank you for the inspirational words.Persons who want to be considered as a slave (for me) should send me a message, now, that says 'Pooter-based twinkie dogs' at the beginning of it.

12/21/2010 1:50:29 PM Conversation with a slave/sub type, posted for the sake of those who are reading my journal to learn, either to know more about me or to know more about themselves. If you are not one of these people, feel free to ignore it. I don't demand your attention, but, I do give advice to those who want it. Mistress Arletta:You sound very interesting. Pity about the occultism and not being relocatable. I like your attitude, as expressed. I hope you find someone who fulfills your need to be a slave. Slave/sub:Thank You for Your kind words. Indeed, I'm only interested in local dommes, but I love getting to know people no matter where they are :). Now, I must look at my profile again when I have a moment. I have an interest in the occult, but it's 'just one of those things'. I should make sure I haven't expresses more of an interest than is there :). Thank You again for Your kind note. I hope You, too, find what You seek. I also hope we can still converse, and that our paths might cross in the future. Nice people, like You, are rare enough in the BDSM world, I regret to say. Mistress Arletta: Well, thank you. I don't know how intense your interest is in the occult - I just know how intensely I would like to avoid having it be a part of my life lol Yes, you are right: nice people are rare. Not sure I qualify, but, I'll take it and thank you, again. Slave/sub: Nice Dominant women in the BDSM world are very rare. At least, around here! Maybe it's the lousy weather we get around here? Mistress Arletta: Maybe it's the fact that I keep being turned down by potential slaves because they think I am not dominant, since I am not screaming at them, calling them filthy demands, or otherwise acting like a spoiled bitch in heat? Most men expect, and demand, abuse and sex, and they do not believe a woman can really just have a dominant personality, otherwise. Most men are twonks. So are women. Yet, some, of both sexes, can give one hope. Slave/sub: 'Twonks'? That's my new favorite word of the day! I think that the BDSM world becomes a giant echo chamber. Women can be unpleasant and get away with it. Men start expecting that. Men get nowhere and stop really trying, becoming jerks. Women get so accustomed to that that they treat all men that way, making them more unpleasant. But, we keep trying. And we jeep searching. Mistress Arletta: Well, I would say it is the other way around; but, then, that is because I keep getting men trying to force me to be unpleasant. That's the way it has always been, even if they are looking for submissive women or just a girlfriend. Men tend to like nasty women. Not strong minded women, not strong bodied women - not usually - just bitchy, rude, money grasping women who would cheat on them quicker than a wink. They either want to submit to them or they want to subdue them. What they have no time for is intelligent, strong minded, strong bodied, reasonable women. So, yes, if I wanted to just find someone to do what I wanted, and I had no moral issues with it, I would go and call someone a few names, threaten to stick something up their butt, and, voila!: my bills would be paid, I would be ever so much healthier and prettier, my ex-husband would be beat up for being mean to me, and all would be lovely in my life, except for that amazing lack of conscience and tact. I like having a conscience. It keeps me entertained on those otherwise lonely nights. Slave/sub: I'm enjoying our conversation. My afternoon is a bit frazzled, but I promise I'll reply in a few hours! Mistress Arletta: Yes, well, I should be doing lots and lots of work, but, I have viruses, thanks to some jerk or another on this site. There's some person who claims to be from New York who has many profiles and sends out nasty viruses. Sometimes, unfortunately, he also claims to be from other places, or I would just avoid New York people. I have reported him, but, support never listens. So, my afternoon is very frazzled. See you later! Slave/sub: Hi, Ma'am! i'm finally home from work, so i can actually read Your profile and not try to write notes to You on my phone!  i can see what You are talking about, where men are demanding a certain sort of behavior to fit their image of a Domme.  Is it really any different than a man expecting the Domme to dress in tight leather?  Or a man with a lengthy lists of things he wants You to force him to do?  These all have one thing in common: relationships, getting to know each other, are not the topic of interest.  That's not from where i come.  i love to play, too . . . but i want to get to know the person first and during and after.  i have a silly question: how did someone send You a virus on CM?  i've never encountered that! Mistress Arletta: I don't know how someone sends viruses. If I did, I would be a far more dangerous person than I am now. Rahahahha. No, I still wouldn't be. I would just have a less messed up computer. See, I have issues with all of it. A man who is going to be submissive or a slave should not be making any such demands at all. I find it ludicrous that, in the main, the relationships stay exactly the same, and so do the outfits, regardless of what the sex is of the person claiming to be dominant in the relationship. The best way to determine if a woman is truly dominant, versus only pretending or only sexually, is to check her shoes, how many layers of makeup she has on, etc. Leaving room for interpretation by personality, profession, etc. I pretty much never wear makeup. When I do, it's because I want to. Otherwise, I don't, because I don't have to, just to feel like I have a face. And, most of the time, most people do not even notice. When they do, they are usually women, and they say things like 'I wish I had the confidence to do that.' And, yet, they often are the ones who think they are dominant. If you are a dominant female, you have the confidence to do that. Or, to dress up instead. Or, whatever. And, you are probably wearing comfortable shoes. I've never had to wear makeup and heels to attract attention. I have had to eschew them to limit it, though. Slave/sub: do agree with You.  Many people in the BDSM world have never 'done anything'.  They've thought about it forever, but they haven't actually done anything.  As a result, they don't really know what they want.  They think what they want is a woman to dress a certain way . . . they want certain acts, they want to be spoken to in a certain way.  In reality, they don't know what they want at all.  The problem is that these people don't seem to realize they don't know what they want.  Many of whom suffer from that lovely combination of 'too little clue' combined with 'too loud a voice'!   For me: i seek a woman with whom i can have a conversation.  That's usually, in my eyes, a good start. :-) Mistress Arletta: That's a very good start. Having much luck with that? I've just had some nasty emails from a man who is local who says he is upset because I am unclear on what I want and obviously deceitful; but, in reality, he is a cross dresser and he knows I don't want one, so he is acting out. (sigh) Why do people take me making a choice of what I do or do not want as a slave as a personal insult? Why can't they just accept that what it means is we are not compatible and, then, move on? Slave/sub: It doesn't work well at all for me, given that I remain unattached. I've heard many people describe that sort of thing: a simple 'I'm not interested' turning into huge personal insults. I don't quite understand this mindset, except to say it is SO frustrating as a male in the bdsm world! We are a dime a dozen, and finding anyone -- let alone the right woman -- can take so much out of a person! Not a justification or excuse, of course. Mistress Arletta: Yes, but .. I did not tell him I'm not interested. My profile says that if what you are into falls under my hard limits, not to waste our time, or something like that. Cross dressing is on there. We were not emailing each other, or anything. I had zero intention of personally rejecting him, as I did not know he existed.If we had been in contact, I would understand it .. better. Slave/sub: By the way, on a little tangent, a LOT of dommes don't like cross dressers. 99% of the time, if I see a domme that shows an interest in cross dressers, she is a 'pro' and needs to do this because of clients (pro dommes are often guided by what customers seek). One domme once remarked to me 'what is so humiliating about wearing a dress? I wear a dress every day!' Mistress Arletta: From my viewpoint, well, for one thing I am not a domme. I realize that, for some people, it just means any dominant female, but, in point of fact, it refers to dominatrices, who are not necessarily dominant by personality. They are women who sexually dominate their partners and playmates, and, usually for money. I am a Mistress, because I am the head of my household, always have been ever since I was an adult, and so I shall continue. But, that is a totally different tangent, and, most of the time I don't care, because I know the titles get interchanged, quite frequently, regardless of walk of life, around here.I find cross dressers offensive. I have no qualms with men who are pretty, who want to put on makeup, who love to wear shiny satin things, or etc. It is no more natural or unnatural than when a woman does it. However, women do it to enhance their femininity, and their femininity is natural, because they are women and that is what being feminine means.I am equally offended by women who simper, dress in sexy outfits, act brainless and prattle about how great it is to be feminine, because, they, like the men who do these things, have reduced the strength and beauty of the female sex into a gross caricature. In the case of the men, however, they are also denying the strength and beauty of their own sex, instead of enhancing it. People are too wonderfully made for that sort of shenanigans. Besides, most cross dressers try to compete with women, and that's just wrong and weird. We get enough of that from other women.What really, really offends me is T-girls, because they outright claim to be straight women on a lot of sites, and there are men who are looking for T-girls claiming to be straight men, and that makes it very, very hard to find someone to talk to if you are really just a heterosexual man or woman looking for your counterpart of the opposite sex. Besides, high heels be damned, those boys have not put in the time or pain that comes with being female. When they pick up a guy, they do have to worry about being beat up, sure, for not being what he wants. However, so do women. On top of that, they have to worry about cancer of the uterus, cancer of the cervix, periods, PMS, possible pregnancies .. so, unless those men want someone to cut them open, implant a baby so that they can get stretch marks and permanently altered hip structure, etc.; or, unless they want someone to stop by and stab them in the lower back every month for a week or two, so they have some concept of the pain and trauma that is associated with being a woman, they should just not their silly shite off! Slave/sub: I've heard similar arguments about that: until he has to deal with PMS, what business does a man have to speak of his own femininity? :). But You have a very good point that most cross-dressers are trying to dress and act like a caricature of what it means to be feminine. I suspect this is because in the BDSM world, cross dressing is about humiliation. The humiliation is about losing ones masculinity. As a result, the whole thing becomes about taking something away, not about enhancing anything. Mistress Arletta: But, to me, it does not insult him - it insults femininity. Anyway, if someone likes doing it, it is hardly being forced. So, yes, what is so humiliating about wearing a dress? She is right. It would only be humiliating if you made them do it in front of their family or something, who were not aware and who would be shocked, and that would be mean to people who made no agreement to be treated that way; or, it would be humiliating for a man who was absolutely against it. And, I have done that to men, who kept saying 'Why don't you get all dolled up?' and 'It's not that hard to keep your stocking straight, your makeup  and hair 'done', and to walk in high heels and it enhances the mood, so there is no excuse to not do it. Women have to be men's fantasies.' Yep, I have taken some of those men and forced them to wear women's clothes, keep their makeup and hair done, walk around in high heels, and act like they think women should act in public, so they would have some clue of what they were talking about. They were not so much humiliated, as horribly frustrated, broke from all the money that goes into it, and with painful feet. Slave/sub: I knew one woman that was a Domme that lived with her sub boyfriend. He used to cross-dress a lot, and she got SO annoyed that he could handle heels better than she could! Ultimately, there is nothing humiliating about wearing a dress, in and of itself. It can, however, be quite erotic in the right mindset, with a couple that shares this together. But, a man demanding 'make me wear a dress, dammit, so I can feel humiliated' is a bit silly! I do recall an experience that was not humiliating, but humbling. I have been put in a maid's uniform at various times when dommes have me do maid service. The simple uniform puts me in a mindset that I am a servant, here to serve. Not humiliating, as I said, but humbling: something very different. Mistress Arletta: Yes, well, I no longer deal in generalizations. That is to say, it does me no good to say 'Some people like it.' as I am not here to find out what some people like. I am here to find what suits me and cross dressers do not suit me. I would not find it erotic, I would find it insulting and I would throw the baggage out.Besides, I believe with God there is some leeway, due to circumstances (ie:David eating the loaves of presentation), but, those circumstances truly have to warrant it, and he says not to dress as  a man if you are a woman, or vice versa. Obviously, a man who wakes up to find himself dumped in the desert, nude, should not eschew the dress when it is proffered by the helpful group of ladies traveling through. That is a very good reason to wear a dress, even though you think it is wrong.I have to think it is wrong, because I believe in God and he says it is wrong, and, in most cases, he is provably right, since most men who dress like women sexually confuse themselves and other men and this adherence to assuming the visual aspect of 'femininity' is what makes someone feminine hurts the relations between the sexes, promotes useless selfish sex above love and companionship, and generally helps screw up entire societies. The proof being that the entire societies are screwed up and very few people have any clue, anymore, who or what they really are.However, there is this weird little desert tribe where, every so often -  I can't remember if it is every 5 years, once a year,  or what - all the men put on excessively odd makeup and robes (they look like desert dwelling drag queens) and perform very weird dances and facial tic sort of movements (think Tina Turner as the Acid Queen in Tommy) in the hopes of enticing women to them, and, then, later, they come around on camels and steal the women away from their home, if the woman wants to go. Now, those men are doing much the same thing, by way of dressing, as the men who are cross dressers. The difference is that they are not denying that they are men, or trying to sexually confuse anyone, or wearing women's clothes so as to even inadvertently cause that sexual confusion. They are just being men, as men should be, according to their ways. So, it is not what you wear, so much, as WHY you wear it. Also, there is the fact that part of being a Dom, Domme, Master, Mistress, etc. is to teach and guide the other person to being a better, more capable version of themselves. Now, there is nothing about abusing someone's mind, making them feel bad about themselves, that can possibly be construed as teaching them and guiding them to be a better person.Better can be construed in several ways - but, if you are making them into something that is non-functional without you, or a total outcast in society, or a caricature, or in denial of their own true, born natural state of being, then what you are doing, whatever it is, is not something that can possibly be construed as 'better'.People always ask 'Well, what do you do for me?' and to some extent they are right to ask that, because there is no good reason to put yourself into the hands of someone who is simply going to use your money, ruin your mental and physical health, and, then, toss you aside when you can no longer play to their satisfaction. Those people are not Masters of anything. They have nothing to teach, they have nowhere to guide you, and they will not make your life better, in any fashion. However, what truly dominant people do for slaves and submissives is rather subtle and hard to explain. It is not so much that they perform a specific task, usually; it is that, by their strength, they become a most excellent catalyst, focal point, touch stone, sounding board .. they are a strength to turn to, with rules to bind you in and keep you safe from the world when it is too much, and someone to care for the opinion of beyond all others - but, not so that they can send you out to a Qwik Stop with cum on your face, and you feel good about making other people uncomfortable; but, so you can move more confidently in society, knowing that, whatever anyone else thinks, you are doing the right thing and you know it, because they have told you that it is so and your goal is to please them by what you do.Therefore, sometimes, there are things that are needed - again, not specific activities, but, more, things that bring about specific feelings - from time to time, for the sake of helping the slave or submissive remember that they should, can, and do please this person whom they belong to. That is why it is good, for instance, to sometimes cage a slave, so that they learn to wait with patience and that they can do this; or, to make them hold a position, so that they learn that they do have endurance; or , whip them, so that they know they can endure pain to reach a desired goal. That goal, in that case, being the knowledge that they endured, that they were brave, and that they pleased their owner. But, it translates into the work environment, into self confidence, into being bold enough to raise a hand and say ' I have an idea.' when you are sure your idea is worth sharing. That's what they should be doing for slaves and submissives. So, that, if the slave or submissive moves on, or the owner is tired of them and moves on, or the owner is ill or dies, this person who has served them is a more whole, better person, who has the wherewithal to brave the world by themselves and take care of business. Even if the owner is no longer there, they have the memories of the rules, the sayings, the activities that helped make them a better, stronger, more capable person to help them along. So, just like with cross dressing, it is all about emphasis and most people's emphasis is misguided, at best. Which, if that's what they are into, is their problem. My problem is finding people who have the right emphasis, as I am very tired of slaves who think it is all about being broken down, tortured, abused, and abandoned - and, yet, still hope for love and romance, and walks in the sunset. (sigh)I find men in stockings, by the way, enormously attractive. In the Rocky Horror Picture Show, I am totally enamored of Tim Curry's character, when he is prancing around in stockings and a garter belt, with his nipples showing, looking all manly. Then, he puts on a dress that has funny bumps around the chest area, and I lose all interest.So, if a man were to tell me he wants to wear stockings, a garter belt and matching panties, I would be relatively okay with that. If he wants to stuff a bra, call himself Cynthia, and giggle girlishly at me, I have no use for him.

12/20/2010 7:52:02 PM For the record, yes, the man who was just sending me untrue and bitchy messages is right in one respect: he certainly has the right to dress however he chooses to dress. Then, he loses the point, because, I did not attack him over the way he dresses, he attacked me over my personal choice not to own a slave who dresses that way. I have the right to choose not to own a cross dresser! Even if he really, really wishes I would change my mind. So, if you are a cross dresser, and you want to be owned by me, decide which is more important in your life, and, act accordingly.

12/20/2010 5:07:27 PM Vanilla: Two definitions. I have been thinking, again, about this term vanilla, and how many people use it to so disparagingy, when, mostly, it is not a bad thing; and, when, mostly, they are engaged in the seeking out of the bits of it that are the worst. Which has led me to considering the whys and wherefores of that, and deciding that, really, there are two different definitions of vanilla, to my mind. Because, you know, the world was fairly well always 'vanilla', being ever so shocked by things that would fall under bdsm, and, yet, the world, while being 'vanilla' created stocks, pillories, gibbets, chains, slavery, numerous torture devices, whores, bondage of the mind, bondage of the body, and bondage of the soul. Whips were used on numerous people, for varying reasons, human flesh was eaten, and bestiality occurred. Therefore, 'vanilla' and 'boring' are not synonymous. Vanilla does not mean 'an absence of whips' or 'an absence of slavery'or there never would have been slaves that were whipped. It does not even mean 'an absence of sexual slavery' since the American slaves were bred with their master and with other slaves of different ethnicities to make better stock, some of them were kept in what amounted to whore houses, and a good lot of them were whipped. Obviously, the Romans were big on using slaves in a sexual manner, at various ponts of history, and were not adverse to forcing them to torture and kill each other for amusement. But, none of them subscribed to bdsm, as it was not a lifestyle, so they just went about being 'vanilla'. If that is not what is meant by 'vanilla', then, what is meant? And, how come, sometimes, that is exactly what vanilla is used to describe? Back to the two definition theory. Vanilla 1: This one is a definition of vanilla, as it is meant by people who say such things as 'BDSM is not about sex', I do believe; because, they are looking for something beyond that common, nasty, vanilla slavery, where people are treated like bodies and used as mere flesh, without their owner ever entering into their feelings, thoughts, needs, desires, or engaging in a real relationship with them.  Vanilla1 is a very depressing state of ignorance of the spiritual aspects of ownership. Vanilla 1 people torture your body because they like to hurt others and are nasty. They do not look on it as giving, sharing, teaching, and if they become sexually excited by their actions it is not excitement with and towards their 'victim' because it is not consensual, and their victim really is a victim, who is not at all happy to be there. Vanilla 1 people do not think of others, and are out for their own selfish needs. Vanilla 1 people, in fact, make up the majority of people in BDSM, because, try as you might to keep the buggers out, they will infiltrate your space, and they will try to twist your life to fit their needs. So that all of a sudden, bdsm is all about the fulfillment of their selfish desires, playing here and there instead of intensely intimate relationships, abuse and degradation for the sake of the abuse and degradation rather than as a means of learning humility. I mean, let's face it: If anyone tells you they are your Master, or your Mistress, and that they are going to make you a better and happier person by taking everything you own, then shitting in your mouth, and you believe them, you are an extremely Vanilla 1 couple. You like to be abused and oppressed and will do anything to get it, and they want your money and to laugh at you for having shit stains on your teeth, and they don't care how they have to humiliate themselves to get that, either. I wish all the Vanilla 1 people would go away, as they are truly clogging up the works for those of us who desire true contact between persons, not just contact of flesh and the purchase of bright, shiny objects. How do you tell a Vanilla 1 person? Well, if you meet a man who is married, who says that he wants to fulfill a woman's every desire, but, cannot get along with his wife as her desires are not interesting to him, you have met one. If he was a Vanilla 2 person, he would seek to fulfill her desires, and the fulfillment of them would be his desire. Instead, he is seflishly taking away from her and giving to someone else, in order to get what he wants. Vanilla 2: Most highly despised by Vanilla 1 people; this is because Vanilla 2 people are the base from which everything good and interesting is made. Vanilla 2 people want to commune with your soul, they are lovers, they enjoy walking in the park and holding your hand; they can love you, with or without whipping you, with or without you whipping them, and writhe with joy over the happiness that their seeking to fulfill you has brought you both. Vanilla 2 people may have fetishes, they may have preferences, but, they are willing to explore yours, too, so long as there is no damage being caused to the spirit of the persons involved. They have limits, they respect your limits. In fact, they respect most everything. Vanilla 2 people do not seek to bring discomfort to the world, but, they seek to find their own happiness intermingled with the happiness of others. These are people who want to own slaves, or be owned, as an expression of something more than just flesh that is controlled.  These are the people who can 'TPE' you into sheer dizziness with a glance. Yes, they may also engage in some of the same activities as Vanilla 1 people, but, the reasons for doing so are vastly different, at least on most days. How do you tell a Vanilla 2 person? Well, I suppose the easiest way is that their profiles are not full of how wonderful they are, and either is their conversation. They have conversation, they care about what you think and feel. They never burst into your inbox with 'Submit to me now' unless it is followed by a chuckle and in response to your journal entry over how so many idiots have done so. In other words, they are willing to engage you in mind, body, and spirit. This is not boring vanilla, even though it is often law abiding. This is sweet, tasty, hard to get, high quality vanilla that makes you long for it and want to taste it over and over. And, yes, sometimes, sprinkle it with something a little darker, or nuttier, or spicier, but, to always, always, have it on your tongue and deep inside you.

12/20/2010 5:05:25 PM A small, enlightening conversation with a slave type: him:  It seemed to me that unless I am offering money, most people aren't very interested in being served. At least through D/s relationships there is opportunity for genuine service that seems to be appreciated. me: Money is not service! Unless, it is part of a greater dynamic, such as the full blown relationship. If we were living together, you gave me your money, I used it to buy groceries, pay the rent or a house payment, dress myself up pretty, etc. then it would be service and it would be power exchange since it is going back into the whole mix of living together. If we are not living together, and you hear that I can't pay my rent and you volunteer to pay for it, that is a kindness, something beyond the service. If I order it, then I'm just a gold digging tramp. Mind you, I wouldn't say that is true about lesser things, such as 'Come over, bring a pizza and a movie.' or 'Let's go where you can buy me a flogger so I can use it on you in a nearby alleyway.' Money does have a way of getting involved. But, there are limits and always should be. Most people who want to 'serve me', in fact, offer me money for sex or money to not have sex with them and make them feel bad about it. Neither of which is how I wish to live my life. I keep telling them 'This is nothing like fetching me a cup of tea.' It is very disappointing to me. Though, there is an older gentleman (older than me, younger than you, to be more accurate) who may be visiting me from Ireland who has made no such demands, so I think he might be genuine. What I want is to live together, as a family (for lack of a better word), sharing our lives together, with the slave/Mistress dynamic. I don't want it to be all gross, painful, or self centered for anyone. him: I have always imagined living in a community formed intentionally by  conscious decision by people who may engage each other at different levels including intellectual, emotional, sexual, service, material sharing, spiritual, and any other way that is agreeable to them. Such a community could welcome those who are by nature submissives and slaves as well as those who are naturally dominant. me: I'm not interested in polyamory. Sexually, I'm very monogamous and I have to really care for the person in a very special way, or it's just no good. But, communal sort of living can be quite lovely, I have found, so long as someone is in place to have the final say and that someone must be someone relatively sane and with the best interests of all, as individuals and as the group, at heart. If I have slaves, I will not insist that they do not have sex, but, I will insist that they do not bring women back to my home, that they do not try to have it with me, that they do not go around sexing up the other slaves in front of me, or acting irresponsibly. In other words, you treat the slave home like a family home, and assume it is a family of persons who are respectful of each other and not into incest.

12/20/2010 8:19:16 AM Old profile, still of interest: Do not expect me to contact you. It may happen, but, I doubt it. I need serious slaves who are ready to engage in a real, in-person, full time, 24/7, 365 relationship as owned persons. By the reading of this profile and taking action, you will be showing me that you are one of them. I am not here to be judged by slaves. My ways are what they are. True slaves will reorient themselves to my methods. Do not ask my interests, or what I will or will not do to, for, against, or with you. When I have reason to believe you are acceptable to me, you will be told what you need to know. Answer the questions below, cutting and pasting them into a message and giving your answer below each question, in a neat and orderly manner. You may break them up into sections, or even send them one at a time. Do not ask, or try to guess, what answer I want. What I want is honesty. As I will read your answers, your profile, and judge if you seem to be compatible, on top of answering the questions, you would be wise to go and rethink your profile as most of the 'slaves' I have encountered on here, thus far, have done a piss poor job of representing themselves. Your profile should reflect (live for) those things that must be a part of your life, because without them you would break, and (hard limits) those things you cannot live with, because living with them, you would break. Then (hate) those things which would be suitable for punishment, or which you hope not to have to engage in, but, which you will engage in if ordered.And, of course, (love) those things which, if an Owner wished to reward you or see you smile, they could give to you, do to you, or allow you to be a part of. If you are interested in knowing me, you will alter your profile to the standards mentioned, above, and you will also change your profile, to show that you are asking to be considered by me, to show that you are not currently actively seeking anyone but friends (at least until I am done with you), and you will write to me and ask me, specifically, to consider you. If you want me to believe in your sincerity, you will also send a photo or video that has you (I need to see your face, your eyes) holding a sign that says 'Please consider me, Mistress Arletta?' Or, you may write it upon your body Here is one question that will save us both a lot of time, potentially: Are you looking for a domme (woman who is sexually dominant) or a dominant owner? If you are looking for the former, we are done. If you are looking for the latter, proceed. Questions for slaves: 1. To what extent should you be allowed to set the tone of the relationship? 2. To what extent should your owner be allowed to set the tone of the relationship? 3. Are you seeking sexual play, physical pain, emotional pain, or acceptance most? 4. Are you truly relocatable? How long would it take you to relocate, and, why? 5. Is your good service contingent upon living conditions? As in, would you refuse to start with someone who did not have a dungeon? Would you refuse to stay with someone who did not allow you to sleep in a cage, or who insisted that you did? Why? 6. Do you accept, as fact, that woman have the right to decide what to do, or what not to do, with their own bodies? 7. Is it more important to you, personally, that you should sign over everything to your owner or that your owner does not ask for everything to be signed over? 8. Would you rather give or have it taken by force? (Regardless of what 'it' is) 9. Do you have an opinion on what thought processes, dressing styles, activities, duties, looks, lifestyles or punishments make someone a true slave? If so, what are they? Why? 10. Do you have an opinion on what thought processes, dressing styles, activities, duties, looks, lifestyles or punishments make someone a true Master or Mistress? If so, what are they? Why? 11. Are you seeking to be forced into sexual situations that you would not put yourself in, otherwise? 12. Are your fetishes (whatever they are) something you can live with having part time? 13. Do you have certain criteria you look for in an owner? If so, what, and why? 14. Are your fetishes something that you could forgo altogether for the greater pleasure of full time service as a completely owned slave? 15. Do you hope to be a slave for a lifetime, to the same person? If not, what length of contract are you hoping for? Why? 16. Are your fetishes something that must be utilized by your owner to get you motivated to serve? 17. Can you work for others, or engage in sexual activities with others, without it affecting your loyalty or service to your owner? 18. How do you hope to be treated in public, by your owner? 19. What is your relationship like with your family and friends? Do you still want to visit them and do activities with them? 20. Do your friends or family know you are a slave? Why? And, how would you handle keeping them in your life, if you could choose the method, while being a slave? 21. Can you accept that you may have to do things you will not like, of a day-to-day living variety, such as reading from books that you do not like, attending meetings that you do not enjoy, cleaning things that make you gag, cooking when you hate to cook? 22. Are you looking for a romantic or sexual relationship with your owner? Which? Why? 23. Do you think that your money is to be used in trade to buy your Mistress' affections? 24. Do you want a Mistress who is a goddess, claiming to have powers over you, controlling your will and forcing you to perform vile acts? Why? 25. If someone sets you the task of cleaning the kitchen, does your head fill with ideas related to sponges, scrubbers, how to operate their dishwasher? Or, does it fill with thoughts of you in stockings, face ground into the linoleum by the booted foot of your owner, feeling your butt plug jiggle in fear, as you are growled at and told that you did it all wrong and must do it again? Which of these two scenarios, above, comes closer to your thought processes? 26. Do you want a Mistress who claims to be a dominant woman, not a goddess, who wants you to work for her, to fulfill her needs, but, who is basically loving and kind when you please her, but, can be quite harsh when you have crossed the line? Why? 27. Will you serve publicly, if your Mistress requires it? Why? 28. Do you think slavery is shameful? Why? 29. Name three movies that really make you laugh. 30. Are you sensitive to odors, such as the odor of garlic? 31. Has anyone ever accused you of being uptight? Why? 32. Are you a toilet slave? Why? 33. Have you read my journal entries and blog, yet? Have you sent me the photo or video mentioned? Have you changed your profile? Have you done any, or all, of the above-mentioned things that you should do if you wish to impress me with your sincerity? Why? 34. Have you ever dreamed of helping a woman transform herself into the beauty she should be? Of undoing the evils wrought by other men? Why? 35. Are you truly heterosexual, not willing to be forced to be bisexual? 36. Name three movies that really make you cry. 37. Name three songs that inspire you. 38. When you think of being a slave, do you think of being whipped, of being tied up and sexually used, of kneeling and kissing feet, of waving a palm frond to cool the heated, glistening breasts of your Mistress, of kneeling on a cobble stone floor scrubbing the tiles, of being a Butler who answers the door and takes coats and fetches drinks, of being a maid, of being a cook? Or, what? Why? 39. Do you think Spartacus was wrong to rebel? Why? 40. Do you dream of the good old days of southern slavery, when you could have been bought and sold without so much as a by your leave, worked to death, fed to dogs, without anyone caring as much for you as they would have for a lame mule? Why? 41. Does who you choose to accept as your owner is hinge upon them fulfilling your fetishistic needs? 42. Name three books, or authors, that you love the writing of. 43. What are your religious beliefs? How much do you adhere to the teachings thereof? 44. What are your political beliefs? How important are politics to you? 45. Are you interested in me because of my size? 46. If you could not serve a woman - absolutely could not - would you serve a man, instead? Why? 47. Do you read? What? 48. What is your prior experience as a slave, servant, or submissive? 49. Do you fairly well at grammar and punctuation? 50. Does who you choose to accept as your owner hinge upon them fulfilling your sexual needs? 51. Does who you choose to accept as your owner hinge upon them being the religion that suits you best? Or, upon them having no religion, if that is what suits you best? 52. Can you differentiate between an order that is inconvenient/ a big step, and an order that is actually dangerous? IE: Someone tells you to buy a house (big step) or someone tells you to buy a house and put it in their name, immediately (dangerous step). 53. Do you believe slaves are less than human? 54. Do you believe men are less than human? 55. Why should I want you as a slave? What assets will you bring to our relationship? 56. Do you believe in monogamy? 57. Do you want to serve without being considered to be a man, but, to be seen as this sexless worker drone? 58. Can you teach your skills to others without feeling superior to them? 59. When you receive an order to do something you do not particularly enjoy, do you feel put upon, disappointed, punished, trusted, owned or what? 60. Would you rebel against an owner who wanted to give you herbal supplements, vitamins, a high colonic, hydrogen peroxide therapy, or other alternative health treatments? Why? 61. What do you hope to get out of slavery? 62. Would you rebel against an owner who wanted to teach you their religious beliefs? Why? 63. What sort of slave do you hope to be (sex, pain, domestic, caged, trusted servant, lover with some combination of sex and pain and domestic, ???)? 64. Do you believe that women can only dominate men by their sexuality? 65. Is giving money to your Mistress a pain, a pleasure, or both? 66. Can you serve a woman who is married to a man, who would not be your Master? 67. What kind of housework (including yard work) do you actively enjoy doing? 68. What kind of housework (including yard work) are you good at doing? 69. Can you serve a woman who is married to a man, who would be her Master? 70. Are you ready to perform a small task to prove that you are capable of obedience, domestic service, thoughtful service, and financial service, all at once - that will cost less than $100.00 and has nothing to do with you giving out any financial information to anyone else. 71. Can you serve a woman who is married to a man, who would be your Master? 72. Are you likely to be jealous of other slaves? 73. Describe your interest list by going into detail as to why things are an interest or hard limit, especially fetishes. For instance, if you are into ass play, do you hope to perform anal sex on your Mistress, do you hope she will use a strap on to perform anal sex on you, do you hope she will force you to have anal sex with other male slaves, are you into felching, do you enjoy being spanked and that's all the ass play you mean, or what? 74. Do you think your Mistress must believe in female supremacy? 75. Are you prepared to sign contracts, letters of intent, and whatever else is necessary for a fully legal, binding agreement, complete with exchange of address and other contact information, notarization of documents, and etc? You may ask me questions, slave, as far as proof of my existence. If you want to know what I seek, think, feel, what interests me, then, learn to read. I will not reply to you if you ask, as I have provided much by way of journal entry, and you may also look up my yahoo blog. I am not here to converse randomly with slaves. I am here to find ones that are compatible enough, in thinking, that they can be trained to do as I need them to, so I may commence living in the style to which I wish to become accustomed. If that seems to be you, we will discuss contracts, and, if all goes well, begin to serve and be served, within a week. Since it has been asked: Yes - slaves, submissives, Masters, Dommes, Mistresses, or any other persons who feel the urge, may freely use these questions as a means of screening, or as an enhancement to their profile or journal entries.