I come and I go, on this site. It is frustrating to deal with simple minds, selfish attitudes, anger issues, smarmy invitations, and, disgusting advertisements, so I go. Then, I realize, once again, that this is still the best site to find what I seek, so, I return.
Right now, I am an overweight female, who suffers from the pain and inconveniences associated with Fibromyalgia. This is not what I have always been, nor is his what I wish to continue being. So, obviously, anyone who wishes to help me toward the goal of being a less overweight (so called, as I will never be a stick girl), less in pain, healthier person, is going to be more charming to me, then, someone who wants to pop by and tell me what is wrong with me. I know, more or less, what is wrong with me, and, how to fix it. It would be much more likely to happen, much more easily done, with a helper, than with a nag.
Ultimately, I want a man who is looking for love, wants mutual respect in a relationship, and, who understands that bdsm is not about finding the perfection that you seek and then beating it, but, about finding the personality that you seek and then honing your understanding and pleasuring of each other, through knowledge, discipline, submission, dominance, acceptance, denial, and, whatever other safe, sane, and consensual methods one cares to employ.
Try this scenario on for size: We wake up in the morning, read the Bible together. It doesn't matter if you are sleeping on the floor, beside me, or, if I have to go let you out of your cage.
Maybe I make breakfast for you, maybe you make it for me, and, maybe we make it together. It is made of the sort of food I should be eating, though, and, not the stuff that you enjoy, but, which will make me ill. I am the one who decides this. You don't tell me you have to make me breakfast, or that I have to make it for you. I tell you.
Since it is a Sunday morning, I have work to do, and, you do not. So, while I type away at my day job, you clean up the kitchen mess, do a little light housework, until it is time for us to leave to go to a meeting.
When it's time, we get dressed, and we go. It's to the Kingdom Hall down the road, because, this is where people gather who believe the same basic things that I came to believe on my own (with the help of God, of course), and, you are who I have invited to be a part of my life. However, if you have some other beliefs, you are free to attend your own meeting, without me, before or after this one, or on some other day, altogether. I do not attend meetings of other religious groups, though I might attend a social function of some other sort, hosted by their members.
You will, of course, open the car door, carry my books, and, otherwise be a gentleman, when we are out.
After the meeting, we might go out to an early dinner. You will open the door for me, talk to the person who wants to know how many we are, what sort of seating we'd like (table or booth), order my drinks and food for me (after we discuss it amongst ourselves), leave the tip, pay the bill, and, otherwise be an attentive male. You will not flirt with the wait staff, insult me, ignore me, or, ogle the other women in the restaurant.
Returning home, you will make sure all the clothes, books, etc. are put away properly, unless I choose to do it, or help do it, instead.
Later on, we will step out into the back yard, where the oft mentioned storage shed is. There will be no slave in it, now, unless, of course, we are mutually agreed that you are the slave and that it is the best place for you. Regardless, it is now a place for privacy, for us, because, there are simply too many people living in this house at the current time. It is air conditioned, comfortably furnished, well decorated, luxurious even, inside this shed, in the part that we will be using for storing our sort of tools. And, it will be sound-proofed, as much as possible.
In this place, in the majority, you will be my total slave. I may tie you up and play with you, whip you, order you to your knees for oral pleasures, or, whatever I feel like, and, you will obey. And, when you perform, you will not be sneaking glances, while half-heartedly engaging in the activity, like some idiot seeking attention, but, you will do it as a man who is being given a privilege that he longs for, and, who intends to bring pleasure to the person he is doing it to.
In this place, at times, I may be your total slave. Because, sometimes, life is just better when you have someone pulling your hair, whispering naughty things in your ear, and, having their way with you.
Combine all that with spending time in silly conversation, reading together and separately, pursuing our hobbies, spending time with friends, and, all the lovely bits of regular, normal, every day life, and, there you have something that is worth all the frustration of seeking for it.
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