12/26/2010 4:22:17 PM |
The easiest way to dissuade fantasists from continuing on is to interrupt them with reality. Hence my profile. There is a local man who keeps asking if he can come spend time with me, yet, he will not read my profile and answer those few questions.
This is not a man who wants to spend time with me; he just wants someone easy to get close to, who has feet.
There is another man who shows up, asks me odd questions and insists he wants to be my slave, begs me to send him contracts. Then, he disappears for indeterminate amounts of time. So, today, while he was telling me how much he needs to serve, I told him to order pizza from Domino's - that way, with no risk of giving out credit card numbers or anything silly - he will learn that I am telling the truth of my address and I will learn that he is telling the truth about wanting to serve.
It has certainly been more than a half hour, and there has been no delivery.
Why do I keep him around, do you ask? Because, when he shows up and annoys me, his questions help me think, and, in this thinking, my contracts improve.Usually.
What I have learned, this time, is that there is a site where I can send documents to have them electronically signed (actually learned that a wee while ago), but, to do so the contract would need to be written in a 'The undersigned' kind of way, instead of giving specific mention of a person throughout. Or, I would have to fix the area where the names go to allow for room for a field so that it could be filled out electronically, also, as the need came up. Something to think about, then!
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12/25/2010 10:21:43 AM |
More on strategy:
Where are you today, slave? What is it you are doing? Who are you doing it with?
Would you like to, ever, do it again? Is it important to you? Would your heart break, your insides break, if you never saw those people again?
Now, that is the sort of thing that should be negotiated in a contract!
Don't assume. Plan. |
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12/25/2010 8:40:55 AM |
'The practice of S/M is the creation of pleasure. … And that’s why S/M is really a subculture. It’s a process of invention. S/M is the use of a strategic relationship as a source of pleasure.'Michel Foucault
The key word, kiddies is: strategic.
What does it mean, to say that S/M (which for our purposes encompasses sadism, masochism, slave, master and the whole shebang) is the use of a strategic relationship? What is a strategic relationship?
Well, first off, we look at the last word: relationship, which means 'connection' So, this is not just people coming together for a good time, who do not care about each other, personally. This is about people who are seeking some form of actual connection with at least one other person. It doesn't have to be romantic, or sexual, but, it does have to be a true connection.
Therefore, if you are here, looking for a good time, you are not looking for anything connected to S/M, or bdsm, but, are looking for just kink or slutty fun, and you are cordially invited to leave. Yes, I have the right, means, guts, and balls by which to say that, just as if I belonged here and you don't. That is because I am, in fact, seeking strategic relationships as a source of pleasure, and I know that there are many others on this site who agree with me.
I don't expect that you will leave, but, I wish you would, since, obviously, you are clogging up the works, wasting your time and the time of those of us who are seeking an actual connection with someone(s). So, why not go to a site for persons who are looking for fetish fun? This is not it. Or, it shouldn't be. This is meant to be a nice, sweet little 'dating' site, not a meat rack, and is for people who are looking for people who want to be connected , emotionally, with people like them.
Now, on to strategy, which means 'an elaborate and systematic plan of action designed to achieve a particular goal'
Strategy is exactly why I just suggested those other people go off to some other site. They are not strategically placed to get the most, or best, results for what they are seeking; and, due to their lack of strategic maneuvering, what I am seeking is much more hidden, on this site, than it should be. Therefore, it is part of my strategy, to get what I want, to help them to see that they would be happier somewhere more geared toward giving them what they want.
I am thinking of the quote, above (which is, also, currently on my profile), relationships, and strategy, this morning, particularly because of a man who wishes to be a slave. He lives in Cardiff, and his profile says that he is willing to relocate.
He approached me, a wee while ago, him having no knowledge of where I was located, what I looked like, my age, height, weight or anything; answered my questions, and we had a great discussion of things, finding ourselves to be very suited in some fundamental fashions. There were two that we found we were possibly going to be a bother, which is religion and romance; but, he assured me he could do without the sex and romance stuff, at least for a while, and, while I am religious, I have no intention of forcing that onto others as it would be rude to God to do any such thing.
Suddenly, however, he tells me that he does not think we'll suit because he does not want to relocate to the United States of America (although, without being polite enough to use the proper name, in any fashion), not even for a little while, and, that his home is too small to share.
Now, the sort of relocating we were speaking of, was only him being here for 6 months, or less, out of the year, and, me being there, in the U.K., maybe, sometimes at his place, for 6 months, or less, out of the year. This is because I have reasons I want to be in Musselburgh, which is nearish Edinburgh, in Scotland, in the United Kingdom, at least sometimes, and I would like to travel at other times. This was nothing where anyone needed to change residences. He knew that. We had discussed it.
So, today, I, thinking strategically, suggested to him that he change his profile to indicate where he is, or is not, willing to relocate to, as it would save him and the people who might otherwise be interested in him a whole lot of time. Now, I will share with you the emails, omitting his ID, etc.:
Me:
I was thinking about you, this morning, and your not wanting to relocate to the U.S. of A. Nothing bad, really; just, that's the sort of thing that should be on your profile. Because, you do say you are willing to relocate, and you do want to be a slave, so, anyone who took you as their slave would assume you are 'willing to relocate' to wherever it is they get off to. Since that is not the case, you should specify where you are willing to relocate to, and make sure that when you have a contract, it also specifies such things. Otherwise, you could end up over here, anyway.
Him:
That's a fair point about relocation, but moving to the US isn't easy without a green card, as I think everyone knows. I always thought that 'willing to relocate' mean something like 'within one's own country.'
Me:
No. Willing to relocate means 'willing to relocate' , and, you do not need a green card, if you are only visiting.
So, if you are 'willing to relocate' , but, only to a certain degree, you should say so. It doesn't matter what you think - it matters what the people who are looking for slaves think, when they see it. More specificity means less wasted time.
Him:
This may be nitpicking, but relocating means 'not just visiting' therefore a green card would be needed to relocate, therefore I think it would be usually understood not to be possible. I really don't believe that one has to say 'I'm only free to do possible things' because that is kind of obvious.
Me:
Right. If you were only going to do the things that are easiest for you, then, you would not be a slave, at all. Do you want to be a slave, or do you not want to be a slave?
If you want to be a slave, then, you must accept the viewpoint of others, not expect them to reorient themselves to yours. And, since 1) It is not at all impossible for you to relocate to the U.S.A., generally, it would be thought to be a big lot of bother, but, something that you, the slave, has said you will do (relocate, in general with no specific criteria listed as to where or where not and why), so, it would be no impediment were everything else right. and 2) it is not your province to dictate what other people believe relocation means, for their needs, or how they would view what 'willing to relocate' means, your alternative to wasting a good lot of time for yourself and others is to be very specific as to what relocation means to you.
And, I already told you that relocation, for you, would mean, to me, that you would not need a green card, as I wanted to spend a good lot of time in the U.K. and the weather here in the summer time is evil, so I only want to be here, in Tucson, half the year or less. Since persons from the U.K. and the U.S.A. are allowed to visit 6 months out of the year, without having to resort to changing citizenship or getting specific visas, it is not even remotely impossible for someone from the U.K. to serve me, based on my needs, unless they are excessively poor and I have no other slaves.
Which is why you should make your profile as informative, in brief, as possible. Because, obviously, it is not about the green card - since the green card is not something required to serve me. I don't care what it is - I am not asking you to justify yourself to me - I am giving you good advice on how to prevent this particular b.s. from happening again. Being 'willing to relocate' has no boundaries attached to it. And, many fine slaves do add a little something to their profile, such as how their company has branch offices in these three cities, so those are the places they are willing to relocate to, or how they do not want to leave their family so they are only willing to relocate within this limited area, or they absolutely would only relocate to other places in America or in Europe, or etc.
I was giving you that advice for your benefit. I don't know why that makes you angry or argumentative, but, I do know how much I have to put up with it. I'm blocking you for the rest of the day.
Yes, blocking him may have been a trifle harsh, but, then, maybe not; if he was my slave, and insisted on getting lippy, telling me I had to accept his interpretation rather than for him to accept mine, I might gag him. Might even do more than that. So …
Strategy is important. Which means, yes, nitpicking is important. It is how one gets rid of pests, after all.
So, if you are someone who knows what you want, lay it out on your profile and in your journal entries. Even if you only know a few things, let those particular kitties out of the bag, so that when people pass by your profile, they will see what it is you know you want and they can quickly determine if there is a reason for them to message you and find out more.
Also, read other people's profiles, as the ones who are most serious and knowledgeable as to what they want, have usually developed a profile that is more strategically apt. Yes, sure, it seems like a waste of time, but, how much waste is it to read 1-10 minutes of writing, versus reading hours of writing, for the next few weeks, before it is determined that at least one of you is wasting time? Read the profiles, as part of your strategy, to help you save time and energy, and keep you moving along in your search, without too many pit stops or too much disappointment.
And, if you don't know what you want, figure it out. If you don't know yourself, enough to be able to say what you want, at least for now, then you have no business even being in a relationship. No one can connect to you, until you are all there.
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